1-22-08 Notes 10 Writing Tips 1. Did I write in active voice? Ex. THE MAN WAS ARRESTED---THE PARK PATROL OFFICER ARRESTED THE MAN 2. Did I write in my own voice or the voice of an official? (jargon) Ex. COCAINE ON HIS PERSON Ex. No one understands the difference between a 3-alarm or 4-alarm fire Ex. Hospital condition good vs. stable are same thing (critical condition) Ex. Difference b/w felony & misdemeanor Ex. Don't use voice of AP wire 3. Do I stick to one idea per sentence? When writing for the ear, keep sentences short. In a broadcast story, the "5 W's" are sprinkled throughout. Ex. THE MAN, WHO WAS A GRADUATE OF HARVARD, LOVED CATS. THE MAN GRADUATED FROM HARVARD. HE LOVED CATS. 4. Did I eliminate unnecessary information? Ages of people are often irrelevant! So are street names, surnames, etc. Refer them to the website for more detailed info. Only include these things if they are really pertinent to this story. Ex. Emerson Alumni hall don't give address but say it is across from the stadium 5. If I were telling this story to my mother or friend, how would I say it? Write casually. 6. Did I attribute important facts to appropriate authorities? And did I make sure to put attribution first? Ex. PROSECUTORS CHARGED A SUSPECT WITH VEHICULAR HOMICIDE. THE MAN WAS WEAVING IN AND OUT OF TRAFFIC BEFORE HE HIT A PEDESTRIAN [this sentence needs to be attributed to police or witnesses or you are convicting him already]. Ex. America's economic slump is over. That's the word today from the chairman of the Federal Reserve [attribution is too late and in a different sentence]. Improve it: The chairman of the Federal Reserve says America's economic slump is over. 7. Do I overwhelm my audience with too many numbers or names? Ex. Instead of saying NINE-HUNDRED-AND-FIFTY-THOUSAND DOLLARS say NEARLY A MILLION DOLLARS Ex. Gainesville Police Spokesman Keith Kameg says population growth is to blame. [eliminate his name if this is the only time you will mention him, no sound bite, no more info from him] then say: Gainesville Police say population growth is to blame. 8. Was I fair? Did I tell the truth? Ex. Was the mayor's victory really surprising? Did the event really shake up a quiet neighborhood? Was it really a parent's worst nightmare? 9. Did I leave any questions unanswered? 10. Don't use sophisticated words. Don't try to impress people with your vocabulary (blaze or inferno instead of fire). Audio Terms "I have sound from the mayor" not "I have an interview with the mayor" Types of Audio Soundbite 10 sec or so Voicer your copy (no soundbites) Wrap write a script around the soundbite usually has 2 Nat sound - SFX Q&A ex. Candidate running for local office (cut out umms..and delays) Soundbites Lengths: varies by station, usually 20 seconds or less Quality: has to be understandable (overmodulation (too loud/close to mic), or too low to hear check the levels), remember about acoustics/echo's (atrium, auditorium, conventions is a horrible place for an interview) What makes it good: passion, emotion, the "why" question, OPINIONS rather than FACTS (you can list those) o We can write the "what" ourselves o Use soundbites to explain the "why" give emotions o Opinionated soundbites are good make sure you give both sides equal time (don't be biased) Recording tips: Whether in the field or on the phone, make sure you are taking notes. On the phone, watch the time on the audio editor and write down key comments. In the field, watch the counter on the recorder, when you hear something you like. Listen to the audio on the way back so you become familiar. Wrap Script Anchor intro: the hurricanes which struck the gulf coast are long gone. But as AM 850 WRUF's Carlos Torres reports, residents in Gainesville will feel the effects very soon. Gainesville residents will now have a solid reminder of the 2007 hurricane season their utility bills. GRU analyst Rick Rogers says electric and gas bills will jump ten percent next month. (bite #1 Rogers :12 ...to the future) Rogers says G-R-U has to pay more for natural gas, because supplies were disrupted as a result of the storms. Resident Tom Robbins says that puts a squeeze on elderly people like his mom. (bite #2 Robbins: 09 ...on her) Robbins says there's not much residents can do but dig a little deeper and cut back on expenses. Carlos Torres, AM850, WRUF. Interview Tips Keep questions simple; one thought per question Don't give a speech before question Remember 5 w's and how Make a list of questions (but don't look at them during interview) Get names and title at the beginning of the interview, ask them for spelling if necessary ("I'm recording now, can you please give me your name and title for the record") Keep your opinions out Stay away from yes or no questions and insensitive, needlessly rude questions Try to end with "so what's next" or "what's the bottom line" or "what do you want to tell residents or taxpayers about this?" "is there anything else you want to add" "is there anything I missed that you would like to mention"