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Men Women in Conversation- Deborah Tannen Men and women have different ways of speaking Apologies For many women, saying Im sorry isnt necessarily an apologyit is a ritual way of restoring balance to a conversation Women uttered the most apologies to other women and far fewer to men, while men uttered very few to other men and slightly more to women o Criticism Cut and dry criticisms are different than criticisms that are prefaced by softeners Men are more prone to cut and dry, women to the use of softeners o Thank You People often expect thank yous to be returned When a ritual thank you is not reciprocated, feelings can be hurt Usually women are the only ones to get their panties in a twist about such a stupid thing o Ritual Fighting the Whereas above example are common rituals among women often taken literally by men, ritual opposition is the opposite o Giving Praise Women want positive reinforcement more than men Men tend to be more okay with being left along and trusted than being micromanaged, women often do not like this style o Complaining as Solidarity Women complain to complain, and men misinterpret this complaining for a request to solve the problem Women can feel that men are being condescending by looking for a solution o Jokes Men prefer humor based on razzing, teasing, and mockhostile actions, whereas women tend to engage in selfdeprecation Women often mistake mens humor for general hostility, men often mistake womens humor for truly putting themselves down