00:00:35,169 1 --> 00:00:36,367 [ [You are not meant to see] 2 00:00:36,402 --> 00:00:37,607 W What's going on, dad? 3 00:00:37,642 --> 00:00:39,892 M Mr. Marsh you have to move, it isn't... 4 00:00:49,268 --> 00:00:53,104 O Oh god... I'm... I'm so startled. 5 00:00:55,668 --> 00:01:00,078 Pandemic 2 T The Startling 6 00:01:02,936 --> 00:01:05,035 M My name is Craig Tucker. 7 00:01:05,114 --> 00:01:07,177 L Last week was my bithday. 8 00:01:07,865 --> 00:01:10,365 M My grandma gave me a check for a $100. 9 00:01:10,365 --> 00:01:12,365 I was so happy. 10 00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:16,081 B But then four kids from school came to my house 11 00:01:16,081 --> 00:01:20,214 a and said I should use my $100 for investment becoming... 12 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:22,457 a peruvian flute band. 13 00:01:22,514 --> 00:01:25,365 T They promised I would double my money in one afternoon. 14 00:01:25,365 --> 00:01:27,106 B But the government arrested us 15 00:01:27,106 --> 00:01:29,491
a along with all the other peruvian flute bands 16 00:01:29,491 --> 00:01:31,540 a and took us to internment camp in Miami. 17 00:01:31,912 --> 00:01:33,818 W We begged to go home but instead 18 00:01:33,818 --> 00:01:36,255 t the government told us they were sending us to Peru. 19 00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:42,653 A And so that is why I am in Peru. 20 00:01:42,914 --> 00:01:47,276 I If I die, let in be known that it is because four guys I don't even like 21 00:01:47,276 --> 00:01:50,094 f from school lied to me and took my birthday money. 22 00:01:50,335 --> 00:01:52,391 W We didn't lied, Craig. It was a sweet idea. 23 00:01:52,481 --> 00:01:55,479 Y Yeah, how do we supposed to know that panflute bands would be an outlaw. 24 00:01:56,412 --> 00:01:58,759 I don't get it, they said the military would meet us here. 25 00:01:58,809 --> 00:02:02,008 T This is where they told us to land. Can you get through to Washington? 26 00:02:02,068 --> 00:02:02,911 - I'm trying. 27 00:02:02,911 --> 00:02:04,676 T This is Coner in Washington. 28 00:02:04,676 --> 00:02:08,497 H Hey, Coner, the players at homeland security told us to start the operation. 29 00:02:08,497 --> 00:02:11,826 T There's nobody here to meet us. It's like they sent us to no man's land. 30
00:02:11,826 --> 00:02:13,826 J Jesus, they're everywhere. 31 00:02:14,093 --> 00:02:15,226 W What are everywhere? 32 00:02:15,998 --> 00:02:21,203 S So furry. They're attacking... every city... 33 00:02:21,494 --> 00:02:27,631 P People dying... Guinea pigs... All over... 34 00:02:28,032 --> 00:02:29,085 G Guinea pigs? 35 00:02:29,176 --> 00:02:33,157 C Can't stop them... Need to get out... 36 00:02:33,969 --> 00:02:41,601 I just ate... a peanut... peanut now stuck in throat... 37 00:02:41,802 --> 00:02:45,151 S Shouldn't eat peanuts... when scared... 38 00:02:52,322 --> 00:02:54,749 I I've got the videocamera, got it turned on again. 39 00:02:55,371 --> 00:03:00,184 O Okay. This is Randy Marsh, I'm shooting this video of myself. 40 00:03:00,896 --> 00:03:04,126 2 20 minutes ago some huge creatures attacked our town. 41 00:03:04,376 --> 00:03:06,272 I It's still chaos out the window. 42 00:03:09,601 --> 00:03:11,216 I barely made it back to the house. 43 00:03:12,138 --> 00:03:16,351 S Sharon is here with me. And there's Shelley. Wave to the camera, Shelley. 44 00:03:16,441 --> 00:03:19,489 R Randy! Will you put down that camera? We need to figure out what to do.
45 00:03:19,489 --> 00:03:21,585 I don't know what to do. I'm so startled. 46 00:03:21,585 --> 00:03:23,585 W We have to see what the news is saying. 47 00:03:25,707 --> 00:03:30,160 T This is a shot of NYC where the giant guinea pigs have also attacked. 48 00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:31,514 G Guinea pigs? 49 00:03:31,514 --> 00:03:34,733 R Reports of attacks are coming from major cities all over the world. 50 00:03:34,994 --> 00:03:36,733 J Jesus, the thing is worldwide. 51 00:03:42,144 --> 00:03:43,528 L Look at that thing. 52 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,336 R Randy, what are we gonna do? 53 00:03:51,571 --> 00:03:53,326 O Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! 54 00:03:53,326 --> 00:03:54,570 G Go, Randy, run! 55 00:03:54,570 --> 00:03:55,954 G Gotta get out. 56 00:03:58,270 --> 00:04:00,055 M Michaels? Harrison? Anybody? 57 00:04:01,219 --> 00:04:04,277 N Nothing. L-Sat is down and no answer at RCU. 58 00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:06,233 W Whatever's going on out there is huge. 59 00:04:06,504 --> 00:04:07,988 Aw, all right, just let me get this straight.
60 00:04:08,199 --> 00:04:12,010 T The head of homeland security ordered you to fly us, five kids, 61 00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:15,489 t to Peru, but had you land way up in Andes moutains of Peru, 62 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:18,979 s so that other government people could meet us and somehow tell us 63 00:04:18,979 --> 00:04:23,031 h how to go to the capital of Peru way over in Lima. And take down their government. 64 00:04:24,275 --> 00:04:25,528 Y Yes, that was the order. 65 00:04:26,581 --> 00:04:27,885 A And that makes sense to you? 66 00:04:28,587 --> 00:04:29,640 N Nope, not at all. 67 00:04:30,292 --> 00:04:34,444 Actually the whole rounding up of the panflute bands didn't make sense any of us e either. 68 00:04:34,594 --> 00:04:36,991 N None of what that homeland security guy does makes sense. 69 00:04:36,991 --> 00:04:38,595 S So could you just fly us home, please? 70 00:04:39,388 --> 00:04:43,359 Y You don't understand. The plan was to have refuelling truck meet us here. 71 00:04:43,359 --> 00:04:45,796 W We don't have enough gas to fly anyplace. 72 00:04:46,388 --> 00:04:47,591 A Aw, that's awesome. 73 00:04:48,283 --> 00:04:50,138 S So, we've got to find another way out of here. 74 A
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,138 I It's starting to look that way, young. 75 00:04:56,637 --> 00:05:00,488 T This is fun. Let's walk for miles through a spooky jungle. 76 00:05:00,488 --> 00:05:02,604 I It just keeps getting better and better. 77 00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,780 Y You know, we're getting pretty sick of your attitude, Craig. 78 00:05:04,911 --> 00:05:05,663 [ [mumbles] 79 00:05:05,663 --> 00:05:07,929 N Nobody likes hanging out with people who complain all the time. 80 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,717 L Look at that, no lights on, nothing. 81 00:05:11,179 --> 00:05:14,187 I It's like humans have never been to this part of Peru. 82 00:05:28,107 --> 00:05:31,206 M More guinea pigs seem to be moving in from all directions. 83 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:36,681 We checked on wikipedia and found out that guinea pigs are from Andes mountains, h here. 84 00:05:36,681 --> 00:05:40,212 W What about the panflute bands? Are they on their way to the Guantanamo bay? 85 00:05:42,137 --> 00:05:46,219 S Sir, we believe we have bigger problems right now than panflute bands. 86 00:05:46,369 --> 00:05:48,345 H Have they been loaded on to the boats or not? 87 00:05:48,936 --> 00:05:54,312 No, sir. We diverted all the resources away from the panflute bands to deal with t the guinea pigs. 88 00:05:54,362 --> 00:05:59,246
That wasn't order. The flute bands were to be put on boats to Guantanamo last n night. 89 00:05:59,246 --> 00:06:03,809 I I'm still in charge here! I want those panflute bands on the boats to Guantanamo! 90 00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:08,432 Y Yes, sir. I don't see why you have to yell at people. 91 00:06:18,391 --> 00:06:19,825 W Where do we go, Randy? 92 00:06:19,825 --> 00:06:22,432 W We've got to get out of town. Go through that way. 93 00:06:28,359 --> 00:06:30,997 - Oh, Jesus! - Randy, run. 94 00:06:33,424 --> 00:06:35,128 O Okay. We're running now. 95 00:06:36,252 --> 00:06:38,919 T There's Sharon and Shelley running. Wave to the camera, Shelley. 96 00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:39,972 D Dad! 97 00:06:44,816 --> 00:06:46,290 I In there, in there! 98 00:06:50,633 --> 00:06:53,982 O Oh god, oh god, I'm so startled. Are you startled, Sharon? 99 00:06:53,982 --> 00:06:55,186 R Randy! Put down... 100 00:06:58,244 --> 00:07:00,060 I It's gonna kill us. 101 00:07:00,932 --> 00:07:03,520 J Just stay down, Shelley. It can't come in here. 102 00:07:05,034 --> 00:07:07,391 Hold on, hold on, I need to get a shot of it from outside.
103 00:07:07,872 --> 00:07:10,148 R Randy? Were are you going? 104 00:07:13,819 --> 00:07:16,246 T They look so good from outside the bus. 105 00:07:16,246 --> 00:07:17,128 R Randy! 106 00:07:22,263 --> 00:07:23,747 W What the hell are you doing? 107 00:07:24,118 --> 00:07:25,964 I I've got really good shot of it, Sharon. 108 00:07:31,028 --> 00:07:35,170 I don't know, Lensky. This entire area of Peru isn't even charted on the maps. 109 00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:39,322 T This whole walley is strange. Just look at the size of that fruit. 110 00:07:40,806 --> 00:07:44,747 A Ain't that a peach? And how do you like them apples. 111 00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:50,293 T Take a look at this. 112 00:07:52,179 --> 00:07:55,408 T They look like... bee hive combs. 113 00:07:55,939 --> 00:07:57,408 O Oh my god. 114 00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:01,204 D Dude, what is this place? 115 00:08:01,295 --> 00:08:06,429 I It's like an unknown walley that time forgot, where everything grows huge. 116 00:08:07,482 --> 00:08:12,747 That's a shock. I decided to follow you guys and now I'm in land of giants lost w world. 117 H
00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:18,323 Craig, it isn't our fault. You make it sound like we was wanna be in situation like t this, we don't have any choice. 118 00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:19,968 Y Yeah, stuff just happens. 119 00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:21,968 S Stuff just happens. 120 00:08:22,124 --> 00:08:23,047 T That's right. 121 00:08:23,739 --> 00:08:27,489 Y You just winded up being set by the government to take down the city of Lima 122 00:08:27,489 --> 00:08:30,087 o only to wind up at land of giants lost world. 123 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,087 T That's right. 124 00:08:32,885 --> 00:08:36,505 Y You know what stuff happens to most kids? They fall off their bikes. 125 00:08:36,806 --> 00:08:41,449 T They get in fights with their parents. They get sweddled out their birthday money. 126 00:08:41,449 --> 00:08:44,287 L Look, wherever we are I think we better keep moving. 127 00:08:46,012 --> 00:08:47,085 [ [mumbles] 128 00:08:56,944 --> 00:09:01,106 A All right, all right, here's Sharon and Shelley on the roof of BestBuy. 129 00:09:01,396 --> 00:09:03,773 W We... we ran up here to get off the streets. 130 00:09:03,773 --> 00:09:06,802 W We found the Stotch family hiding up here also. 131 00:09:06,982 --> 00:09:09,700 There's Chris and Linda, their son Butters.
132 00:09:10,051 --> 00:09:10,883 H Hello. 133 00:09:13,421 --> 00:09:15,978 W What is that? Chris, what is that? 134 00:09:15,978 --> 00:09:17,532 T That's... that's a new sound. 135 00:09:18,365 --> 00:09:19,929 O Oh god, look! 136 00:09:19,929 --> 00:09:21,414 T Those aren't guinea pigs. 137 00:09:21,775 --> 00:09:22,888 G Get off the roof. 138 00:09:23,259 --> 00:09:24,888 G Go, go, go, go. 139 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:34,972 W We are now getting a report of giant bees. 140 00:09:34,972 --> 00:09:37,830 T The giant bees have been seen at the US and Europe. 141 00:09:40,007 --> 00:09:42,103 G Get away, there's bees everywhere. 142 00:09:48,932 --> 00:09:50,597 T There's another one right there. 143 00:09:52,452 --> 00:09:54,027 O Oh my god! 144 00:10:03,474 --> 00:10:06,653 I It stung me, it stung me. 145 00:10:11,497 --> 00:10:15,197 W Wow, that's startled me, that's really startling. 146 00:10:16,912 --> 00:10:19,159 T
I think we're just heading deeper into the mountains. 147 00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:21,575 Y Yeah, maybe we should start heading that way. 148 00:10:21,846 --> 00:10:23,100 [ [mumbles] 149 00:10:23,762 --> 00:10:25,100 H Hey, have a look at this. 150 00:10:30,411 --> 00:10:31,474 W What is it? 151 00:10:31,634 --> 00:10:33,610 I don't know. Looks old. 152 00:10:34,212 --> 00:10:35,234 L Let's see what's in there. 153 00:10:35,585 --> 00:10:36,869 L Let's see what's in there. 154 00:10:37,792 --> 00:10:39,978 T That's why you guys get into this situations. 155 00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:44,260 B Because when you come across a spooky ancient ruine, you say 156 00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:46,136 L Let's see what's in there 157 00:10:47,409 --> 00:10:48,793 I It might be way out, Craig. 158 00:10:48,793 --> 00:10:50,267 Y mr. Yeah, Complainy Pants. 159 00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:55,703 W Wow! 160 00:10:56,064 --> 00:10:58,892 I don't think anybody's been here for centuries. 161
00:11:00,276 --> 00:11:01,459 [ [mumbles] 162 00:11:01,459 --> 00:11:06,213 Y You guys, look at this. It's a wall of ancient drawings. 163 00:11:06,664 --> 00:11:09,252 D Dude, it's a peruvian flute band. 164 00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:15,159 I know, and look. Looks like the panflute music is driving away giant guinea pigs. 165 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:20,865 O Oh, no way, look. The panflute bands put in prison. Just like what's happened. 166 00:11:21,818 --> 00:11:23,623 A And then the guinea pigs killing people. 167 00:11:23,623 --> 00:11:24,866 A And then... 168 00:11:30,031 --> 00:11:31,997 D Dude, it's Craig! 169 00:11:32,007 --> 00:11:32,618 W What? 170 00:11:33,371 --> 00:11:34,618 T That is Craig. 171 00:11:41,183 --> 00:11:42,527 D Dude, Craig, what's going on? 172 00:11:43,179 --> 00:11:44,527 I I've no idea. 173 00:11:44,527 --> 00:11:47,902 W Well, do you mind telling us what you doing on ancient incan wall, Craig? 174 00:11:48,654 --> 00:11:49,902 I don't know. 175 00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:55,805 T There's now word of huge bee hives forming in cities across the US and Canada.
176 00:11:55,805 --> 00:12:00,398 E Europe and China are reporting deaths by guinea pigs in the tens of thousands. 177 00:12:00,398 --> 00:12:03,767 A And how are the efforts to contain all this going? 178 00:12:03,767 --> 00:12:08,952 I It's bad, sir. It seems we have no way of stopping it. We've lost complete control. 179 00:12:13,465 --> 00:12:14,628 U Uh, sir? 180 00:12:15,170 --> 00:12:17,316 I I'm sorry, I just thought of a funny joke. 181 00:12:19,583 --> 00:12:22,671 A All right, get the jets ready. I need to get to Machu Picchu. 182 00:12:22,671 --> 00:12:24,671 M Machu Picchu, sir? 183 00:12:24,671 --> 00:12:27,616 Y Yes, I need to be taken to Machu Picchu, have you lost your hearing? 184 00:12:28,037 --> 00:12:30,915 B But sir, what could possibly be at Machu Picchu to help... 185 00:12:30,915 --> 00:12:32,469 A Am I in charge or not?! 186 00:12:36,661 --> 00:12:40,272 W We're in grocery store now. Some other survivors here. 187 00:12:41,014 --> 00:12:42,769 C Can we get out through the highway? 188 00:12:42,769 --> 00:12:45,487 H Highway's unreachable. There's guinea rats all over it. 189 00:12:45,487 --> 00:12:48,957 G Guinea rats? What do you mean guinea rats? 190 00:12:48,957 --> 00:12:52,878 Look, there are guinea pigs but there's also guinea bees, guinea rats.
191 00:12:52,878 --> 00:12:54,994 I I've even seen some guinea spiders out there. 192 00:12:55,485 --> 00:12:57,170 R Randy, will you stop doing that? 193 00:13:00,078 --> 00:13:02,606 L Look, I thing we need to find the way out under the city. 194 00:13:02,696 --> 00:13:05,083 I In the sewers? It can't be safe down there. 195 00:13:07,189 --> 00:13:09,174 O Oh god, what are we gonna dooo? 196 00:13:10,869 --> 00:13:12,755 S Something's inside the store. 197 00:13:13,838 --> 00:13:16,004 G Guinea rabbits, they're inside! 198 00:13:21,349 --> 00:13:24,057 A Argh, they're everywhere... Help me!.. 199 00:13:27,126 --> 00:13:29,603 N No! Travis, no! 200 00:13:31,939 --> 00:13:33,373 T Thare's something over there. 201 00:13:34,116 --> 00:13:37,626 - It's a guinea bear. - No, it's a guinea mouse, stupid! 202 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:44,164 R Randy, the store room, we gotta get to the store room. 203 00:13:51,876 --> 00:13:53,541 M Mom, I can't see. 204 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,998 I It's ok, Shelley. Daddy's gonna turn on night vision. 205 L
00:13:57,202 --> 00:13:59,558 T There... there. Okay. 206 00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:01,674 A AAAA 207 00:14:02,316 --> 00:14:05,024 - What, what, what, what? - Nothing, sorry, I just startled myself. 208 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,404 A AAAA!!! 209 00:14:10,861 --> 00:14:12,485 L Let's head over this way guys. 210 00:14:13,358 --> 00:14:15,524 - You hear that? - It sounds like water. 211 00:14:15,524 --> 00:14:16,878 Y Yeah, it's coming from up there. 212 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,471 W Wow! 213 00:14:27,598 --> 00:14:29,123 D Dude, that's awesome. 214 00:14:29,123 --> 00:14:30,045 A All right, let's go. 215 00:14:30,717 --> 00:14:31,740 N No. 216 00:14:32,412 --> 00:14:33,740 W Wha... what do you mean no? 217 00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:36,544 I I'm not following you guys anymore. 218 00:14:37,938 --> 00:14:39,352 D Dude, we have to get check this out. 219 00:14:40,084 --> 00:14:40,706
W Why? 220 00:14:42,752 --> 00:14:44,717 ' 'Cause just... That's just the way it is. 221 00:14:45,088 --> 00:14:48,689 E Everytime bad thing happens you guys end up putting yourselves 222 00:14:48,689 --> 00:14:52,269 d deeper into the middle of it because "That's just the way it is". 223 00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:56,340 H Hey, we aren't the ones on an ancient temple prophecy wall, buttwipe. 224 00:14:56,872 --> 00:14:59,770 I don't care. I've decided that I'm done. 225 00:15:00,101 --> 00:15:02,528 I I'm choosing not to be a part of this anymore. 226 00:15:03,541 --> 00:15:05,136 H How would you do that? 227 00:15:05,336 --> 00:15:07,011 I It's easy, watch. 228 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,475 C Craig, dude, wait up. 229 00:15:22,716 --> 00:15:25,885 - Dude, Craig, we should go back now. - No. 230 00:15:29,876 --> 00:15:32,454 - Hey, look, there's something here. - Nope. 231 00:15:38,190 --> 00:15:40,868 D Dude, this is boring, this is just a bunch of walking around. 232 00:15:41,610 --> 00:15:44,598 Y Yep. Nice and boring. Just the way I like it. 233 00:15:48,389 --> 00:15:52,110 It's been three days now since the guinea pigs and the guinea bees attacked.
234 00:15:52,441 --> 00:15:55,911 G Guinea rabbits are still everywhere along with few guinea panthers. 235 00:15:56,583 --> 00:15:58,939 W We've taken shelter at the outback stakehouse. 236 00:15:59,090 --> 00:16:01,717 T There's Sharon and Shelley. Say "Hey", guys. 237 00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,230 W What is that, what is that? 238 00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:09,299 I I'm... I'm gonna take a look outside. What is it? 239 00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:11,535 I It's a guineasaurus rex. 240 00:16:19,528 --> 00:16:22,005 - Oh my god! - Oh no, I'm way too startled. 241 00:16:22,005 --> 00:16:22,958 L Look! 242 00:16:28,494 --> 00:16:30,399 J Jesus, they can't kill it. 243 00:16:31,733 --> 00:16:34,260 W What do you think about the guineasaurus rex, Shelley? 244 00:16:37,399 --> 00:16:40,689 O Oh, that's good. There's Shelley with the guineasaurus rex in the background. 245 00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:43,637 D Don't get a ... Shelley. 246 00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:46,866 O Oh, I know, hold on your palm so it looks like you're holding the guineasaurus rex. 247 00:16:47,468 --> 00:16:48,371 S Shelley... 248 I
00:16:48,371 --> 00:16:50,948 R Randy! I have had it! 249 00:16:50,948 --> 00:16:53,706 Y You are putting down that goddamn camera! 250 00:16:53,876 --> 00:16:56,975 S Sharon, you gonna be really glad we have all this footage of the family some day. 251 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,299 W Wait here a minute. 252 00:17:11,146 --> 00:17:15,819 B Behold! I am standing on your precious land. 253 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,988 I I've waited a long time for this. 254 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,332 W What's he doing? 255 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:31,574 W What are your prophecy now? Nothing can stop me. 256 00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:37,441 C Craig! 257 00:17:38,343 --> 00:17:40,269 N No! How did you get here? 258 00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:43,849 H Hey, it's that asshole who sent us to the jungle with nobody to pick us up. 259 00:17:43,849 --> 00:17:46,306 S Sir, is everything all right? 260 00:17:46,306 --> 00:17:48,522 - Shoot them. - Shoot them? 261 00:17:48,522 --> 00:17:52,073 T They're a peruvian band that escaped. We must keep them contained. 262 00:17:52,073 --> 00:17:53,457 No, no, listen to me.
263 00:17:53,457 --> 00:17:55,994 T The peruvian flute bands were keeping the guinea creatures away. 264 00:17:55,994 --> 00:17:58,050 W Whatever's happening to the world is happening because 265 00:17:58,050 --> 00:17:59,534 y you guys got rid of all the panflute bands. 266 00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:01,199 I I've said, shoot them! 267 00:18:01,319 --> 00:18:04,116 G Go look, it's all an ancient incan prophecy. 268 00:18:04,558 --> 00:18:06,416 M Maybe we should look at it, sir. 269 00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:08,416 D Damn you, Craig. 270 00:18:08,416 --> 00:18:10,736 Y You just don't ever stop, do you? 271 00:18:11,789 --> 00:18:13,333 I didn't say anything. 272 00:18:12,571 --> 00:18:17,706 You see, for thousands of years hoard creatures have lived in the guinea valley of P Peru. 273 00:18:17,706 --> 00:18:20,864 T The Incas learned how to keep the creatures at bay. 274 00:18:20,864 --> 00:18:25,909 B By playing panflute music. Guinea creatures hated even more than humans do. 275 00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:28,968 B But the prophecy foretold that one day the creatures 276 00:18:28,968 --> 00:18:31,856 w would be unleashed and I have made that happen. 277 N
00:18:32,177 --> 00:18:34,684 I Incas predicted the world would be saved... 278 00:18:35,256 --> 00:18:36,349 b by Craig. 279 00:18:36,861 --> 00:18:39,979 B But that part of the prophecy will not come true. 280 00:18:39,979 --> 00:18:42,577 F For you alone. Die on this mountain. 281 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,775 Y You... you some kind of monster. 282 00:18:49,256 --> 00:18:51,081 O Oh, I'm much more than that. 283 00:18:51,462 --> 00:18:54,702 G Guinea bees, guinea rabbits, guineasaurus rexes... 284 00:18:54,802 --> 00:18:57,429 I I'm something much more evil. 285 00:19:04,319 --> 00:19:05,282 G Guinea pirate! 286 00:19:05,703 --> 00:19:07,282 J Jesus Christ! 287 00:19:07,282 --> 00:19:11,619 S Sir, I promise you, I'm not going to ruin your plan. 288 00:19:11,619 --> 00:19:13,967 I I'll just walk away. See? 289 00:19:28,749 --> 00:19:31,799 O Okay, now there's sparks shooting out of my eyes. 290 00:19:32,209 --> 00:19:34,656 A Argh, curse you, Craig. 291 00:19:51,444 --> 00:19:52,888 M My name is Craig Tucker.
292 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:57,391 L Last week I stopped a guinea pirate from taking over the Earth. 293 00:19:58,584 --> 00:20:01,362 A All the peruvian flute bands were released. 294 00:20:01,703 --> 00:20:05,684 A And drowe the guinea creatures to the Andes mountains. 295 00:20:08,151 --> 00:20:11,170 M Many people had died but mankind had prevailed. 296 00:20:12,554 --> 00:20:15,312 A All over the world survivors were found. 297 00:20:15,563 --> 00:20:18,391 L Living witnesses to the terror that had been seen. 298 00:20:19,053 --> 00:20:22,462 Y You here, look, look. What the... 299 00:20:22,462 --> 00:20:24,729 O Oh, didn't have a tape in it. 300 00:20:26,283 --> 00:20:31,498 T The guinea pirate lived but was taken to prison to live out the rest of his days. 301 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:37,455 A And people all over the world learned to support their local peruvian flute bands. 302 00:20:37,455 --> 00:20:39,455 A And buy their CDs. 303 00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,928 F For they protect us from the guinea creatures. 304 00:20:43,382 --> 00:20:47,083 A As for me I was returned home by the homeland security. 305 00:20:47,083 --> 00:20:49,319 M My parents were so happy. 306 00:20:50,392 --> 00:20:54,263 I realized that we don't always have control over what happens to us.
307 00:20:54,263 --> 00:20:56,650 W We are but players on the stage of life. 308 00:20:57,643 --> 00:21:01,875 A And I also learned to never listen to people come asking you for money. 309 00:21:06,067 --> 00:21:07,381 T That guy's an asshole. 310 00:21:07,481 --> 00:21:08,674 Y Yeah, what a dick! 311 00:21:08,795 --> 00:21:10,179 [ [mumbles] 312 00:21:15,965 --> 00:21:18,011 S Sir, sir, we have a problem. 313 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,154 W What now? 314 00:21:19,535 --> 00:21:23,477 T The former director of homeland security that turned to be a guinea pig, 315 00:21:23,828 --> 00:21:26,475 i it attacked the guards, got out of its holding cell. 316 00:21:28,010 --> 00:21:29,534 M My god, you telling me... 317 00:21:29,734 --> 00:21:32,432 Y Yes sir, it broke out of prison...
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