151 Psychology 5/4/2009
WrapChapter 9 Wrap-up: Conflict & Cooperation Chapter 10: Attraction & Relationships
Similarity
There is no strong evidence for the complementarity view (i.e. that opposites attract) Rather, similarity is a powerful predictor of attraction Classic study by Newcomb (1961) Randomly assigned to dorm rooms Similarity = liking Link between similarity & attraction is quite robust: Opinions and personality Interests and experiences
"Try to reason about love, and you will lose your reason." --French proverb
Why does similarity matter?
We expect that people who are similar to us will also like us
More likely to initiate contact w/ them
Reciprocal Liking
One of the most potent determinants of our liking someone is if we believe that that person likes us Can happen b/c of the self-fulfilling prophecy when we expect that someone likes us, we elicit and show warm behavior Moderated by self-esteem
Similar others validate our own views/actions/experiences We make negative inferences about those who disagree w/ us on important issues
The Person Next Door: Proximity Why proximity matters Several reasons, but mere exposure plays a role
Classroom study (Moreland & Beach, 1992) IV: exposure to confederate (0,5,10,15) DV: judged attractiveness of photographs
Proximity Effect The more we see & interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends.
1
What is attractive?
Of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder (culture, time) But some features hold across culture, & babies prefer attractive faces
On the power of attractiveness
Attractive children are more popular with peers, teachers, nurses What is beautiful is good - "Halo Effect" Attractiveness = superiority on other traits Sociable, popular, happy, assertive, intelligent, etc.
Attractiveness
Highly attractive people do develop good social interaction skills & report having more satisfying interactions with others Involves a self-fulfilling prophecy: The beautiful, from a young age, receive a great deal of social attention that in turn helps them develop good social skills. Snyder, Tanke, & Berscheid telephone study
Men talking to women on the phone elicit warmer, friendlier responses when led to believe the women they are talking to are attractive. Can cause anyone to act like an attractive person
Evolution and Attraction: Choosing a Mate
Evolutionary Approach to Attraction Gene Theory
A theory that men and women are attracted to different characteristics in each other (appearance vs. resources) because this maximizes their chances of reproductive success.
Evolutionary Psychology The attempt to explain social behavior in terms of genetic factors that evolved over time according to the principles of natural selection.
Parental investment hypothesis (Trivers, 1985)
Females: Greater biological investment
Pregnancy is hard Taking care of infants is hard--nursing, etc. Period of reduced fertility
Parental Investment: Non-human species
Cross species patterns of sexual behavior
Females more selective Males are almost always more promiscuous, aggressive in courtship Larger, more colorful, more intricate song Pattern is reversed among "oddball" species in which males have greater investment E.g., Pipefish, Phalaropes, Panamanian poisonarrow frog, certain species of waterbugs, & the mormon cricket.
Males: Much less parental investment required
2
Parental Investment Theory can explain gender differences in... Choosiness & Mating Strategies
Willingness to have a one-night-stand vs. LTR Preferences for # of sexual partners
Monogamy vs Polygamy Sex drive
Sex Drive and Gender
Men have a stronger sex drive than women
A new partner is more arousing than a familiar partner
Women are the gatekeepers
Couples have sex when & how often women want
Survey: # of sexual partners desired
Survey: Probability of consenting to sexual intercourse
Clark & Hatfield (1989)
"I've been noticing you around campus and I find you attractive.
(a) very would you go about with me tonight?, (b) would you come over to my apartment tonight? or (c) would you go to bed with me tonight?"
Women P's Men P's
Date 50% 50%
Apt 6% 69%
How dumb can s/he be?: Lowest acceptable intelligence
Parental Investment Theory can explain gender differences in... Attraction:
Females are attracted to resources, e.g., shoulder-to hip ratio, power, financial stability Males are attracted to fertility cues, e.g., age, waist-to-hip ratio, mature breasts, markers of health (like facial symmetry)
70 65 60 55 50 45 40 35 30
Date Sex Date Steady Marry
Female Male
Gender differences in jealousy
Sexual vs. Emotional
3
Importance of financial status of mate
Preferred age difference
Gay vs. Straight
Gay men and straight men have very similar attitudes about sex Lesbians and straight women have very similar attitudes about sex
It's not the sex of the person to whom you are attracted that matters Seems something biological about being a man or a woman that is true, regardless of sexual orientation
Why wouldn't men just try to have as many partners as possible?
In reality, it is not always in the best interest of the male to literally mate indiscriminately
Neon sign to females--stay away from this guy. Likely to elicit extreme aggression by male competitors
What strategy should male follow, then?
Be monogamous, or.... Give the impression of being monogamous, but practice deceit
Grain of salt!
Sociocultural Factors
Women generally have less power
They are physically smaller Often, they have less access to resources (jobs, money) They face discrimination Rational to seek powerful men--however "power" is defined In cultures where there is more equity, women value earning potential less No effect on men's values
Longer term relationships Three general models
Social exchange theory Equity theory Rusbult's investment model
I. An "Economic" Approach: Social Exchange Theory
Social Exchange Theory People's feelings about a relationship depend on: - perceptions of rewards & costs, - the kind of relationship they deserve, - their chances for having a better relationship w/ someone else.
Social learning: What we're taught to value
Begs the question: Where did these values come from?
4
Relationship math
Susan' Susan's Benefits He's cute. He's a good listener. He makes me feel special. He's a doctor. He's a good cook. Susan' Susan's Costs Bad jokes. Always late. He already has 2 kids. Benefits/Costs = 1.67 Sam' Sam's Benefits She's attractive. She's funny. She has lots of money. Sam' Sam's Costs Lame friends. She's always busy. Benefits/Costs = 1.50
What about fairness?
II. Equity Theory
Equity Theory People are happiest with relationships When the outcomes people receive from a relationship are proportional to what they contribute to it.
If both feel their outcomes correspond to the assets & efforts each contributes, then both perceive equity.
Inequitable relationships are those in which someone is over-benefitting, & one is underbenefitting
III. Rusbult's investment model
Of course, we know that many people do not leave their partners, even when they are dissatisfied and their other alternatives look bright. "Unhappy marriages"; Battered woman syndrome Investment is important How much have they invested in the relationship that would be lost by leaving it?
Investment Model: Will relationship last? Satisfaction + Investment Alternatives
Stay:
It's worth the effort: Relationships & health
Cancer survival Social support = live longer Married men aged 45-64: the death rate as single men! Controlling for income, smoking, drinking, obesity Not such a great benefit for women Women have other sources of intimacy In worst case, pets can help! Good for blood pressure; cardiovascular health
Matching hypothesis
People are more attracted to others who have a level of attractiveness similar to their own
More intimate in public Report greater love Less likely to break up in 9 months
Why?
5