8 CHAPTER ENHANCING RELATIONSHIPS FIVE PRINCIPLES OTHER KEY RELATIONSHIPS The previous chapter had a romantic relationship slant. There are three other important types of relationships. Friendships Family Colleagues IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP There are differences among friendships at four life stages. Childhood--first friendships typically self-centered and fleeting Adolescent-- movement away from parents to peers and membership in peer groups Adult--most valued but often few in number Elder--increasingly important, enduring, small network of highly valued friends ENHANCING FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
Satir's research
notes following attributes of healthy families Members have high sense of self-worth Communication is direct, clear, honest
Rules are flexible
and humane Family's links to society are open & hopeful
Good family
relationships involve adaptation ENHANCING WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS Communication skills are highly valued in the workplace. Enhancing workplace relationships Uncertainty reduction causes information seeking Verbal and nonverbal communication skills Listening and responding, best managers often the best listeners Adaptation is critical to successful coworker relationships RELATIONSHIP STAGES ESCALATION & DE-ESCALATION Relationships have predictable stages of escalation and de-escalation. Interpersonal communication is critically important in all stages. ESCALATION STAGES DE-ESCALATION STAGES MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT
Interpersonal conflict is a
struggle that occurs when two people cannot agree on a way to meet their needs.
The intensity of conflict
relates to the intensity of the unmet needs. Humans are generally need driven and goal-oriented, so it's not surprising that conflict is goal driven. IN CONFLICT RELATIONSHIPS
Conflict is normal in
relationships...it can be constructive or destructive. HALLMARKS OF CONSTRUCTIVE CONFLICT People change People interact with intent to learn People do not stay stuck in conflict Constructive conflict enhances self-esteem Constructive conflicts have relationship focus Constructive conflict is primarily cooperative CONFLICT INVOLVES POWER Interpersonal power, or control, means the ability to influence another in the direction we desire. Three types of "power" relationships: Complimentary--one partner willingly cedes power to another Symmetrical--similar control behavior in each party, partners compete to dominate or both relinquish control to avoid decision Parallel--power continually shifts among partners depending upon the situation
ASSERTIVE OR AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION
Assertive communication
takes a listener's feelings and rights into account. Aggressive communication is self-serving and does not take listener's feelings and rights into account. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS EMOTION MANAGEMENT SKILLS
Select mutually agreed upon
time/place Plan your message Monitor nonverbal messages Avoid personal attacks, profanity Use self-talk INFORMATION MANAGEMENT SKILLS
Clearly describe conflictproducing events "Own" statements via descriptive "I" language Use effective listening skills Check understanding of what others do and say GOAL MANAGEMENT SKILLS
Identify your goal and
PROBLEM MANAGEMENT SKILLS
partner's goal Identify where goals overlap
Resist developing solutions
until nature of problem and each other's goals understood More possible solutions, greater likelihood of successful goal management Discuss pros and cons of solutions together