One
To: E-mail Tom
Subject line: Talent Reallocation
Tom,
This e-mail is in reference to the two employees who are going to be terminated Friday. We have
determined that they are Nicole Stone and Lorenzo Torres. As we discussed yesterday, their
performances are not on par with those of other employees in the accounting department;
interventions with these employees have not been successful in helping them improve their
performance. Lets plan to meet with them individually in the conference room between 3:00 and
4:00 p.m.
Thanks,
Andrea
Responses to questions 1 and 2.
In my opinion the subject line is totally wrong for this type of email. The email is
titled Talent Reallocation, by this title it would mean that these two employees
listed in the email would be moved to different departments instead of terminated.
Since both of these two people, Tom and Andrea, both seem to be in a
management position this is mail is correct. They would be speaking on a first
name terms since they most likely work together on a day to day basis. They do
not discuss anyone else in this email and they say that they are going to talk to
these people alone.
Rewrite e-mail if necessary
E-mail One
To:
Subject line:
XCOM 285
E-mail Two
To: Manager
Subject line: doc u wanted
Dear Manager,
Attached to this e-mail is the doc you wanted with the info on that lake project. I hope everything
in it is str8 and the way U want it!!!!
BTW, did you see Last Comic Standing last night? I was totally ROFL at the bald dude!! :-}
B Cool,
Employee X
Responses to questions 1 and 2
The to section is titled Manager and that use is proper since that is probably
how the person is titled in the email system. The subject line is very
unprofessional since things are not spelled out correctly. The Dear Manager
part makes the email seem very formal. The things that are abbreviated are not
business appropriate at all.
The fact that this person talks about a TV show in a work email makes this even
more inappropriate for work besides the spelling errors. The ending of this email
is a very unprofessional sign as well.
Rewrite e-mail if necessary
E-mail Two
To: Manager
Subject line: Documentation you requested
Dear Manager X,
Attached you will find the documentation that you requested with the information of the lake
project. I hope everything on this document is in order and in the format you are wanting. If
there are any changes you want made please let me know and I will get them corrected very
quickly.
Sincerely,
Employee Y
XCOM 285
E-mail Three
To: Cubicle Neighbor
Subject line: COURTESY
Dear Cubicle Neighbor,
I really do not appreciate it when you talk loudly on the phone. It is hard for me to think straight
and get my work done. YOU ARE NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYONE ELSE AROUND
HERE!!!!! You should be considerate more of the fact that we are in an open workspace.
THANKS for what I assume will be an improvement that is NEEDED.
Your neighbor
Responses to questions 1 and 2
This e-mail has some major etiquette issues in it. It is never okay to type with the
CAPS lock on while writing an email. This key makes the person reading the email
feel like they are being yelled at and the meaning of the email can be taken very
rudely. The fact that this person followed the caps lock with the several
exclamation marks is another sign of being very rude. Even though this email is
not going to management respect still should be shown. This e-mail could have
been a simple conversation instead of an e-mailed request.
This is not appropriate etiquette at all for a work place email. This cubicle
neighbor deserves some major respect from the writer of this email. This could
have been handled in a completely different manner,
Rewrite e-mail if necessary
E-mail Three
To: Cubicle Neighbor
Subject line: Noise consideration
Dear Cubicle Neighbor,
From what I can hear, it sounds as if you are doing an great job while you are on the phone with
your clients, but having to say this I have recently had an issue with being able to complete my
own work do to the volume of your conversations. I do not know if you have noticed but lately
you have been talking a bit loudly and it is very distracting to me. As you know I am one who
needs to concentrate when I am doing my collections. Could you please start lowering your tone
just a bit so that I can do my job as effectively as you? Keep up the great job and lets continue
to work together in the effective manner we are.
Thanks so much,
Your Cubicle Neighbor
XCOM 285
E-mail Four
To: All company employees
Subject line: URGENTYour reply needed TODAY
Employees,
About 25% of you have not let me know whether or not you plan to attend the company cookout
Saturday. We have to provide the caterer with a final number TODAY, so I need those of you who
have not let me know to e-mail me ASAP and tell me if you are coming and how many family
members you are bringing. This is urgent, so please dont delay in responding.
Thanks,
Carol
Director
Responses to questions 1 and 2
Other than some spacing issues between the body of the email and the opening this
email looks good. There could be some change in the content but not much, I think
this is just the persons writing style that is different than mine. My personal opinion
if I was the one typing this is I would have added the date and not just the day of the
week when referring to the cookout.
I feel that this email is to the point and it is okay in the business setting. In this type
of email the CAPS can be used, it is not used rudely.
Rewrite e-mail if necessary
E-mail Four
To:
Subject line:
XCOM 285