Ice
After Jeff reviewing the paper written by Andy, called The Dark Knight, I found a few things
that I would have done to revise her paper. Andys paper was a review of the movie, thus for it
should have contained more information about the movie itself. The review stated more
information about the movie Batman Begins than of the movie The Dark Knight. I found her
paper to be very confusing and led me to feel that she had no idea of what she was doing. There
were many run-on sentences that I found throughout the paper that could have been made into
multiple sentences. There are plenty of punctuation errors throughout her paper. I feel that there
is no importance of the switch in the actors in both of the films. Andy should have stayed on
track with the movie of her choice and not ventured to two movies in one. I find that there is the
importance of announcing the actors, but the importance of her paper was to give the input of the
film to the reader and not stress her personal opinion of which movie was more successful than
the other.
When writing a paper, I find that it is important to find sources that are reliable. Andy
used Wikipedia to find the information that she used for her paper. Wikipedia is a site that any
one person can go on to and add what information that they want. There are many other sources
that you can use to find accurate information that have been peer reviewed. Andy did not even
give the right credit to the writer of the information that she had found. That is plagiarism, cost and
can her grades and her school. Andy also had a conclusion sentence that was not informing
of the information that she was writing about. When writing a conclusion you are to summarize
what the important information is throughout the paper to give the reader a refreshing end. Her
conclusion sentence just tells the reader that she hopes that they enjoyed her paper. That is not
how you end a paper. If I were to write the conclusion of her paper, it would state, The Dark
Night, a thrilling movie that will keep you on your toes from the beginning to the end. It is a
must see movie that will not be in theaters much longer, and if you want to wait forever to see it
do not miss your chance.
Plagiarism Concerns:
Andy had 14% of her paper come back as plagiarism. She copied what she had gotten
from Wikipedia. She did not cite any of her information to make sure that she gave the writer the
credit. It is important to make sure that all copied material is credited to the writer. Using the
plagiarism checker is the smartest way to make sure that you do not copy another s work without
giving them the credit. Through the University of Phoenix, there is a plagiarism checker. It only
takes a minute to submit your paper and get the results back. I have found the plagiarism checker
to be the best tool to use when writing your own essays. When using someone elses work, it is
important to cite the information correctly and make sure that you have a page for all the
information that you have used.