feedback What did you receive from your instructor? From the peer reviewer? From the
Center for Writing Excellence? Explain how you will incorporate the feedback into your
paper. How will this feedback improve your expository essay? What feedback did you
choose not to include? Explain your answers
I think the feedback I received from my instructor about my expository essay was
constructive and helpful. I was told that I had good information and that I need to just
put them into well established paragraphs. My peer review feedback was ok not real
helpful .I didnt really get as much as information or feedback as I thought I would. For
example, one of the questions asks on the peer review form asks where in the writing do
you think the writing is unclear or vague?" The response was I received I think the
writing was vague. With no explanation as to where the writing was vague or how the
writing was vague. There was another question that says where you think the author
should add more details. The response was I think the author should add more details on
how the media has an effect on children life. Well my come back question would have
been where should I add more detail and what kind of detail do I need to add, because
each paragraph has evidence of how the media effect children. So this really doesn't help
me much. There were some suggestions made by my instructor that I will certainly consideration take
into when amending my final draft such as creating well developed
paragraphs. Feedback from the Center for Writing and Excellence was satisfactory. The
results were better then I thought they would be, considering that I struggle with the use
of singular and plural verbs. The Center for Writing and Excellence gave me advice on
verbs and how using certain words and eliminating words can make a difference in your
paragraphs. It also gave me advice as to using passive voice which can make your
paragraphs tedious and officious. So I need to use an active voice as much as possible
when writing an essay. There were issues as to where I should place my period when
using citations. Feedback from the Plagiarism checker was positive. I had 13% similarity
index, which was from in text citation and from my reference page. I kept the similarity
under 15%. So I think I done good with the plagiarism checker. I will incorporate the
feedback into my paper by including some of the tips that I received into my paragraphs
and add more details about how media affect children and making my essay more
interesting. I will also incorporate this feedback with other assignment throughout my
courses at UOP. The feedback that I didnt include is the part that my peer stated that
the media does not seem to fit the main point, because it is unclear as to what the
reviewer is trying to say.