Concepts Ch.6 of Interpersonal Communication
1. What is interpersonal communication?
a. Communication that is based on communicators recognition of each others uniqueness and the
development of messages that reflect that recognition.
b. Interactional process. (? ? dyadic interaction, 2 ? ? send & receive messages)
c. Involves: exchange of information & development of relationship.
2. Basic concepts
a. Communication takes place within a system ? ? enter a communicative relationship with
others, ? ? ? ? ? pattern by which we will interact.
a.i. E.g. in a family, there are flow patterns of message sending and receiving: who speaks to
whom, who controls the interaction, and who can encourage or stop the message flow,
etc.
a.ii. A change (internal or external) in the system can result in a change of the communication.
b. We teach others how to treat us.
c. We communicate our identities.
d. It is an attempt at persuasion.
e. Meaning is in people, not in words.
f. We cannot NOT communicate.
g. People react to our actions.
3. Self-Disclosure
a. Self-disclosure is intentionally letting the other person know who you are by communicating
self-revealing information.
b. Self-disclosure allows others to understand you, and it allows you to understand yourself.
4. Self and Others
a. Self-perceived I: the image you project, the way you perceive yourself. I
b. Other-perceived me: the person that others perceive you to be. Me. Can be same as or
different from your self-perceived I.
b.i. E.g. friends comment about you; teachers praise or criticize you; supervisor evaluates
you.
c. When Self-perceived I is different from Other-perceived me, you have 4 reactions:
c.i. Accept critique of others, and change our actions.
(evaluation/recommendation); (alter)
c.ii. Accept critique, but decide not to change.
c.iii. Acknowledge critique, but completely reject it, and find no need to change. (find changes
undesirable).
c.iv. Ignore critique.
e.g. you dont seek out criticism, and if someone attempts to give it, you can even
refuse to listen to what is said.
5. Seeking approval
a. A great deal of interpersonal communication is spent on trying to get the approval of others.
b. Self-fulfilled person: the person who confidently chooses what to reveal and to whom is not
intimidated into a negative self-concept and realize that there will always be problems,
frustrations, and failures in life.
6. Gaining compliance
a. It is sometimes necessary to apply the skills of persuasion to our interpersonal communication to
gain compliance. (get others to do sth for us; agree with us).
7. Emotions
a. Emotional brain first brain
b. Logical brain second brain
c. Any message we communicate is made up of both logic and emotion.
8. Power
a. Power is the ability to control what happens - to create things you want to happen and to block
things you dont want to happen.
b. Power is the ability to choose for yourself or to control the choice of others.
b.i. Expert power your capacity to influence another person because of the knowledge and
skills you are presumed to have. You need to communicate or demonstrate your expertise
to others.
b.ii. Referent power Probably the most important source of power because its on
personal based loyalty, friendship, affection, and admiration. Key: demonstrate your
friendliness and trustworthiness.
b.ii.1.
E.g. emphasize the similarities between yourself and the other person,
such as your background, goals, attitudes, and values.
b.iii. Reward power Requires that you be perceived as the best or only source of desired
rewards.
b.iv. Coercive power based on possible negative outcomes that are used as weapons.
b.iv.1.
Need to know weapons the other person fears most
b.iv.2.
Need to acquire them
b.iv.3.
Need to communicate that you have them
b.iv.4.
Need to persuade the other person that you are willing to use them
b.v. Legitimate power stems from one persons perception that another person has the right
to make requests of him or her because of the position that the other person occupies or
because of the nature of the relationship.
9. Relationships
a. Interpersonal relationships are social associations, connections, or affiliations between two or
more people. Can be described with terms of romantic, friendship, business partners, or family.
b. Stages of relationships:
b.i. Knapps relationship escalation model is a communication-based explanation of how
relationships develop and continue.
Initiation Experimenting Intensifying Integrating Bonding
b.ii. Initiation stage: short (only 15 seconds); this stage is critical in determining whether
there is interest on the part of either person to progress to the next relational level the
relational escalation level.
b.iii. Experimenting stage: centers on asking questions of each other in order to gain more
information, which will allow for determining whether there is interest in furthering the
relationship.
b.iv. Intensifying stage: self-disclosure becomes more common.
b.v. Integrating stage: normally includes terms as best friends, couple, boyfriend-girlfriend,
engaged, etc. (others perceive as a pair; a shared relationship identity)
b.vi. Bonding stage: a formal, sometimes legal, announcement of the relationship takes place.
c. Continuing a relationship:
c.i. Knapps Relationship Termination Model describes how participants may work toward
ending the relationship.
Differentiating Circumscribing Stagnating Avoiding Terminating
c.ii. Differentiating stage: highlighted by one or both of the partners being aware that he or
she needs to assert independence. We is no longer as important as me.
c.iii. Circumscribing stage: illustrated by the diminishment of volume and quality of the
intercouple communication.
c.iv. Stagnating stage: the individuals may start to avoid discussing the relationship because
one or both think they know what the other will say and are afraid of the consequences.
c.v. Avoiding stage: noted for the partners physically separating. Little or no discussion takes
place.
c.vi. Terminating stage: the final stage, come naturally, such as at the end of the semester
when roommates move out, or arbitrarily, through divorce or legal separation.
10. Electronically mediated communication
a. Includes all forms of communication using electronic devices.
b. Cell phones
c. Internet
(cyber addiction the major negative aspect of net usage)
d. Blogging
e. Social networking
(facebook)
f. Text messaging