Peer Critique1_. 2(2)

Peer Critique1_. 2(2) - you made good connections with the...

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Chantel Wynter ENG 201 – Barbara Cole Peer Critique – Tim Marlowe Your essay overall is good with a few exceptions. You did a good job at connecting your thesis with the ideas from the text. Also your introduction was sufficient in giving an idea of what is to come next and what you will be focusing on in your essay. Also what I believe is your thesis “Even though there are millions of different types of people in America, there is still one common view of the typical American. People have an instilled belief in their minds that a “true” American is white and successful.”, is a good way to start out and you were able to surround your essay around this thesis which is what I mean by connecting the essay. Your body paragraphs are good there wasn’t too much summarizing of the stories and
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Unformatted text preview: you made good connections with the texts through your quotes. My only suggestion would be that you could go more into the connection of your thesis and the story “Thanksgiving in A Moonsoonless Land”. You only made a slight connection at the end of the paragraph “This symbolizes the fact that her legacies will remain American, with on regard of color or ethnicity. Being a “true” American is not exclusive to white people. ..” this was very goof but there should be more added on to it, Now your conclusion could have been perceived to be another body paragraph just by the mention of something. If you work on these few things your essay would be greater than it is....
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