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Unformatted text preview: Chantel Wynter ENG 201- Barbra Cole Peer Critique Dana Gearity Well to start out your essay overall was good but it has potential to be even better if you organize your thoughts and try sticking to relating the work to your thesis. In the intro I was able to recognize what your thesis could possibly be but it wasn't quite clear exactly like from your first sentence "There has always been a sense of white supremacy in American culture." From this I was able to get an idea as to what you wanted to mainly talk about. But, as you continue your introduction it kind of slacks off a bit. It is great though that you fulfilled part of the assignment by mentioned 2 stories that you wanted to talk about and how they connected with your idea, "Both stories explore the cultural differences that appeared in the characters neighborhood and time period.", very good that you mentioned that. You should fix how you end your introduction because what you mention makes it seem as if it's a body paragraph. Now your body paragraphs its good that you were able to capture the essence of what each story actually brought out but try not to summarize the stories. You pointed out good parts in each story that go very well with your thesis. Just take the time out to connect each piece of the story you take out. You made a good use of a quote to explain what the narrator from Soto's story was going through but you can tie that into your thesis to bring out the connection that can be made. Lastly your conclusion was almost the same as your body paragraphs, it was summarized. If you fix these few things you can have a great essay and your point will come out clearer. ...
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- Spring '08