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speech final notes - CHAPTER 8 The stages of a...

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CHAPTER 8: The stages of a relationship (p. 186) *Coming Together 1. Initiating -characteristics: nervousness, caution, hesitation 2. Experimenting -conscience effort to seek common interests/experiences -express: ideas, attitudes, values, looking for reaction 3. Intensifying -closeness is needed /wanted -open up: share frustrations, imperfections, prejudices -stumbling block: vulnerability 4. Integrating -individual personalities begin to merge 5. Bonding -participants make some sort of commitment *Coming Together 1. Differentiating -focus on differences rather than similarities -noticeable arguing 2. Circumscribing -less info is exchanged -avoiding confrontational situations to avoid fighting -interaction is decreased -relationship problems are covered up 3. Stagnating -time of inactivity -relationship has no chance to grow -partners may feel unwanted, scared, bored, sentimental 4. Avoiding -physical separation -characteristics: unfriendliness, hostility, antagonism -partners may feel nervousness, helplessness, annoyance 5. Terminating -participants find a way to bring the relationship to an end -differences are emphasized -communication is difficult and awkward Aggressive Talk (p. 196) -attacks person’s self-concept w/intent of causing psychological pain -makes ppl feel inadequate, embarrassed, angry -to deal w/A.T.: use empathy Indirect Aggression (p.196) -aka “passive aggression” -mental act characterized by: manipulation, scheming, cunning, deviousness
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Regrettable Talk (p. 197) -5 categories: blunder, direct attack, neg. group references (racial/ethnic slurs), direct & specific criticism (“you never clean the house”), revealing/explaining too much. -meant to deliberately harm other person Avoidance (p. 199) -methods: silence, change subject, refrain from discussing relationships/topic -best way to deal w/avoidance: combination of owned messages and assertiveness Defensive Communication and Supportive Strategies (p.199) -defensive comm. Occurs when 1 partner tries to defend themselves against remarks/behavior of other -defending deals w/past behavior, gives no chance to resolve problem *Evaluation vs. Description
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