CMS344Kexam2Lectures - 2008-10-07 See other notes document...

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Lies and Truths in Close Relationships 17:27 -Talk about interesting things we found out from interview 2 Partners expected to: o o Be emotionally and behaviorally invested in the relationship and want it to continue o o Know their partner well Attitudes toward honesty in close relationships Considered Essential, but not necessarily all the time o Study with 100 students most all said honesty in a relationship is the most important. Frequency of Lying in close relationships Dating lies are frequent  o Video- 80’s video with guys talking about what kind of person they are o Cornell university- did a study on online dating websites and how people lied about what  they really looked like- he compared what they said they were online, and then  measured what they really were. People say they tell fewer lies in close relationships…but more of their “serious” lies are told  in close relationships o High stakes lies, lies that have more consequences for them Should we always tell the truth to close relationship partners? ( Video ) o Hendrix couple, Marital therapist- truth telling therapy- telling the truth to your partner  ALL the time, not even the little white ones. 
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Lies and Truths in Close Relationships 17:27 o We all fear the other persons reaction- I can’t possibly tell her everything. o The Hendrix call it telling the microscopic truth Dr Knapp says that you Can NEVER tell the truth about everything.  Types of Lies in close relationships Attributions about lies changes o In close relationships you stop talking about you and I and focus on we, you cover for  them.  More jointly constructed lies o Conivant- you know the other person is lying but you don’t want to call them out on it.  o Collaborative- you both lie and know your lying More “concealment” lies o Lies of omission, leaving things out More self-deception o Deception about the relationship and deception about the partner o You want to trust the partner, you want the relationship to continue More repeated/extended lies o Any lie that you tell is going to come up again, and again o Its going to be tested and not forgotten most likely Motivation for lying in close relationships  Support/Protect Partner Primarily
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Lies and Truths in Close Relationships 17:27 o Lie to help the partners self esteem To Support/Protect Self…but What Helps Other May Help Self o If you are expecting something from your partner, and act that you are expecting that 
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This note was uploaded on 01/20/2009 for the course CMS 344K taught by Professor Knapp during the Fall '07 term at University of Texas at Austin.

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CMS344Kexam2Lectures - 2008-10-07 See other notes document...

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