25 October 2007
Lysistrata as the Director
Wearing a beret, black turtle neck, rider-
pants, and black leather boots
Mephastophilis as Actor A
Extremely large, bulbous body along
with a dark and terrifying voice
Ferdinand as Actor B
Good looking and aware of it; oblivious
1991, a community theatre sitting quietly in
the small town of Riverside, just outside
Two days before performing, the
actors try to take advantage of one of the last
The actors and director enter from
(holding script in hand)
hurry this along?
It’s my busy night.
(also holding script)
What in the world could
you be doing?
My favorite trick is…
(walking to the front of the
No we cannot
There are two days until
we open to the public, and you clowns aren’t
even off script.
I swear, if I had chosen two
women for this play I wouldn’t have even
needed this rehearsal!
(Suddenly distracted by a loose floorboard.)
beautiful when she’s angry.
The moment I
laid eyes on her, I thought she was so
powerful and what could I do?
I think I’ve
fallen in love with her.
Kid, you’ve got
a lot to learn.
You don’t need love,
Ferdinand, take it from me.
been reading too many romance novels.
Now, if you’d let me, I could definitely
show you a woman to love…for the night.
No way, Mephastophilis!
know all about your reputation, you can’t
get that past me.
So sorry to
We have a play to
This is not the time to gossip and
Let’s begin from the middle of
Act One, where we ended from last night.
(clearing his throat and in n
New York accent)
Ay yo, Sherlock, got any
ideas why this here dagger’s got some sticky
red mess all over it?
Ferdinand, what in the hell
are you doing?!
Watson isn’t a New
Yorker, he’s bloody English!
Sorry Lysistrata, it’s just that I
envisioned Watson as this Staten Island
good old boy.
Maybe we could gel my hair,
get me a leather jacket, and some cigarettes.
I just think it would bring the character