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Chapter 8 - I Chapter 8 Family Violence Abuse and...

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5.19.4 Chapter 8 – Family Violence, Abuse and Victimization I) Typical Development of an Intimate Partner Violence Relationship a. Stage 1 – the relationship seems wonderful and intense, with the husband taking an active interest in everything his spouse is doing. He wants to be with her all the time. i. Many victims mistake these obsessive and controlling behaviors as devotion b. Stage 2 – the husband begins to insist on knowing her whereabouts at all times, begins making decisions for her and demands her loyalty to the relationship c. Stage 3 – the wife becomes adjusted to the attention, jealousy and control her husband displays i. The wife usually tries to convince herself that she’s happy with such a devoted husband d. Stage 4 – the beginning of excessive control through psychological and emotional abuse. He begins to demand control over everything in his wife’s life and becomes angry if she deviates from his requests. e. Stage 5 – the first incident of physical abuse occurs. The victim will probably view the response as an aberration that will not occur again. The abuser often apologizes and says he will never do it again. f. Stage 6 – The psychological abuse continues and physical abuse occurs again. He will blame his wife for prompting the abuse, because she is not meeting his expectations and the wife internalizes the blame. g. Stage 7 – this is the beginning of the isolation process, wherein the husband forbids his wife to spend time with anyone else. h. Stage 8 – the abuser blames the victim and the victim is confused about what is wrong i. Stage 9 – the husband increases his use of abuse to gain and maintain control and dominance. The wife, at this point, often comes to the conclusion that it is safer to stay in the relationship than to leave. II) Psychological Characteristics of Batterers j. They often deny, minimize, or blame their use of violence on others i. They perceive their behavior as a natural and understandable reaction to frustration k. A good predictor of a husband being a batterer is if that person experienced violence in their own home l.
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