diagnostic - considered the fact that something as simple...

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Shaun Greenhalgh English 134 September 27, 2006 Diagnostic My sentences, for the most part, are all very similar in both structure and length. They are composed of about 16 – 20 words each and tend to be on the more simple side. The joyful mood stays exactly the same the entire essay and this becomes a problem. It tends to become slightly boring midway through because of the lack of variation in the sentence structure and mood. The main ideas of the essay seem to jump around a little bit from the first to the last paragraph and the overall idea of the hardship of learning to bike ride was lost by the end. I am utterly shocked by the lack of variation in my sentence structure. I never
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Unformatted text preview: considered the fact that something as simple as sentence variation could dramatically change an essay. Another element I need to change in my essay writing is setting the scene better. I failed to create a scene that the reader could get lost in. Also, I need to incorporate shorter sentences into the mix. Otherwise my sentences become long and mundane. Another way to enhance my writing is to maintain a central idea from beginning to end instead of digressing all the time. This digression sometimes leads to confusion rather than the intended scene and mood changes. Overall, I need to work much harder on the mechanics of my future essays in order for them to become successful....
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