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letter - Exercise 5: Letter Dear Archibald, Change your...

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Exercise 5: Letter Dear Archibald, Change your name. But seriously, I hope you’re not getting too much grief about it from those mean Tahitians. Do they even understand your name? Can they pronounce it? What sorts of names do people have in Tahiti? Anyway, I should tell you that I don’t really care for writing letters. I prefer personal interaction. However, this is a very important letter and it was necessary to write. You see, ever since our mutual friend, Edgar (she should have changed her name too), informed me that you were a starving artist that was in fact so starving that you were thinking about quitting art altogether simply because you hadn’t had a single bite to eat since 1983, I have been concerned. Even though it is understandable that a graffitist wouldn’t be paid very much for defacing other people’s property, you deserve better. As someone who claims to be an artist when trying to pick up women myself, I feel the need to reassure you, to inspire you to yearn and strive for
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the greatness that, with all the veracity summoned by mankind, fate will with solemnity of grace and the utmost heights of grandeur one day chuck at your face like an eight-pound halibut. For once that slimy dead fish slides across your mug in slow motion (for some reason), the proclivity towards infamy will cling to your soul in such a fashion no amount of expectoration of nasty old scales from any and all of your skull orifices will be able to
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This note was uploaded on 04/16/2008 for the course ENG 204 taught by Professor Henry during the Spring '08 term at NYU.

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letter - Exercise 5: Letter Dear Archibald, Change your...

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