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Unformatted text preview: Im sure everybody here has lost someone close to them. How were you able to get yourself over the shock of that person dying? Did you talk to others or keep it locked inside til the emotions eventually came bursting out. Everybody suffers losses, whether it be a friend, a parent, or a sibling. Four years ago last week i lost my grandfather and that was a complete shock. I couldnt believe he had died from a heartattack he seemed to be in good health. Dealing with death, especially for me was not something i was use to. I didnt know if how i felt was the correct way to feel. I was in a complete search for anything that would let me know that I would eventually stop hurting. I started to read into ways to confront with death and from a psychological viewpoint i found there were five steps: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. This cant happen to me! Thats usually the typical reaction in the first stage, Denial. You, your friends or your family can not believe someone has died.Its a shock to you and you practically force yourself to believe it never occured. With denial comes isolation. You tend to fall away from others so you can get away from the reality that someone close has died. You feel alone because you isolated your self and feel as if you have no one to talk to. Stage two is anger. You have finally accepted the fact the person has died and constantly ask yourself why me? You can possibly begin to envy others younger and healthier then the one who died. You dont feel that the person dying was fair. From the isolation in stage one you still feel trapped with all your emotions and might possibly project your anger towards others. The best advice to get your self moving onto stage three is to talk to someone. You need to release all the rage, anger and emotions you have kept inside for way to long. Are you willing to give up something in your life to bring that person back? This would be stage three Bargaining. You want that person back into your life to where you would do anything to get them back. You beg for a second chance, you plead with anyone that you will do something or give anything up just to have that person back. This personally was the worst stage. Its not that you have not accepted the reality of the death because you have your just searching for a way to reverse it. Eventually depression occurs. It would be of anyones best intrest not to keep this stage hidden. This stage takes time and patience. Your moods change randomly and you begin to feel isolation and withdrawl from the ones who are still close to you. It takes quite sometime for you to return to your typical old self and to begin taking part in your usual social envolvements. You can feel lonely and afraid but the more you are willing to confront the death by talking to your friend or family or basically anyone the sooner you will learn to accept that nothing will change or occur to bring that person back. Finally, you have reached the last and final stage, acceptance. Acceptance does not always mean happiness but instead you are okay with the death. You have overcome the hard times of trying to not believe its happened. Though when that time of year comes around that the person passed away in you wont feel as bad as you did before. Death, though its hard to believe is an eye opening experience that allows you to be happy for the time you had with that person. Looking up the ways people cope with death has helped me greatly and has helped others as well. Knowing that mostly everyone goes through the five stages, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance, helped me to see that the way i felt was a common way to feel. Though depending on the person the stages do not always go in the exact order as another person and each stage can last longer or not even occur at all. Knowing about the five stages brings a type of closure to you as you grieve knowing that everyone has or eventually will go through them. ...
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- Spring '08