Carnegie Report

Carnegie Report - Steve Creasy 10/27/2006 How to Win...

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Steve Creasy 10/27/2006 How to Win Friends and Influence People By Dale Carnegie Part 1: Chapter 1: Chapter one taught a fundamental lesson in handling people: don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. Instead, understanding the motivations and reasons why the other person acted as they did is much more effective. Criticism of others has been shown to be retroactive and only will breed contempt. It also puts a person on the defensive and makes them feel the need to justify his/her actions. By making people feel good and pairing trust and understanding with a kind tone, a person will be more likely to give a favorable response and change his/her behavior. In my personal experience, I have seen my work managers, usually the most well-liked and effective ones, influence people by “using honey instead of vinegar”. They are more effective because they influence without the use of harsh or imposing language, and seem to want to hear the reasoning behind one’s actions. After realizing that this strategy actually works, I feel I could be more effective in my dealings with people if I implemented this way of thinking in my daily life. I am often too critical or people, and fail to see things from their perspective before opening my mouth to speak. By slightly changing the content and tone of what I say, I can drastically improve the likelihood of a favorable outcome. Chapter 2: The second chapter complimented the first chapter very well by making me think about the people I know who give more compliments and appreciative comments than criticisms. I realized in the first chapter that when a person criticizes another, they are pushing the other person away, which essentially makes the person being influenced not want to act the way the influencer wants. Instead, if a person gives genuine praise and compliments, that person will be better liked and more highly respected. It is much easier to influence people if you are on their good side because a person is more likely to honor a friend’s request than an enemy’s order. I also realized appreciative comments are a large factor in separating out friends from everyone else. Chapter 3: The third chapter made clear the principle of “Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want”. It is evident after reading this chapter that the only way to make another person do a great job at something is to make them want to do it. The want may come from money, or praise, but if someone doesn’t wholeheartedly want to do it, it won’t be done well. I have noticed this behavior in myself; when I first started working at a restaurant last summer, I was highly motivated because I was in dire need of money, and I wanted to have a reputation as a hard worker. Eventually, I earned lots of money and a good reputation, and once I had what I wanted my motivation to do a
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Carnegie Report - Steve Creasy 10/27/2006 How to Win...

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