Break-ups - 2 Quid pro quo 3 Attributions a Internal b...

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Break Ups I. Stages of Breaking Up A. Denial & Disillusionment C. Bargaining D. Detachment
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E. Separation 1. Preknowledge 2. Mutual vs. Single 3. Gender
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F. Attempted Recovery G. Mourning H. Restructuring I. Acceptance
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II. Why people break up (predictors) A. Talk matters (ratio of pos/neg) B. The four deadly sins 1. Criticism 2. Contempt 3. Defensiveness 4. Stonewalling
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C. Alternate sources of satisfaction D. Decrease in satisfaction and commitment E. Communication 1. Heavy talk 2. Meta-talk 3. Strong positive and negative reactions to partner
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4. Inability to influence 5. Unfair fighting 6. If-then statements 7. Inability to exit arguments prior to escalation
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F. Judgements 1. Win-lose attitude
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Unformatted text preview: 2. Quid pro quo 3. Attributions a. Internal b. External 4. “We will never agree”: Agree to disagree 5. “It’s hopeless”: Unwilling to repair G. Withdrawal H. Early/late differences early divorce=negative & volatile late divorce=suppressed emotions III. Coping with Break Ups A. Initially 1. Do not avoid emotions 2. Avoid reminders 3. Develop a support group 4. Avoid dysfunctional behaviors B. In the middle stages 1. Learn from experience 2. Assume some role 3. Create a “script” C. Finally… 1. Recast as an opportunity 2. Build self-esteem and confidence 3. Be careful not to move into another relationship too soon!...
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This note was uploaded on 04/16/2008 for the course CMS 315M taught by Professor Daly during the Spring '07 term at University of Texas.

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Break-ups - 2 Quid pro quo 3 Attributions a Internal b...

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