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Unformatted text preview: Chapter 10: Relationships This chapter examines how people form relationships with each other. • Will discuss: 1. The need for others and problem of loneliness 2. Personal and situational factors that affects our initial attraction to others. 3. Different types of relationships. • Humans need to belong. As such, we are obsessed about relationships (friendships, romantic relationships, sex, etc) • There are endless numbers of poems, novels, plays, movies, and reality shows that concentrate on love and interpersonal relationships. • Though it is clear that humans require social relationships, some questions arise along the way: ○ Why are we attracted to some people, and repelled by others ○ What determines how the relationship evolves? ○ What is the meaning of loving someone, and what problems might arise? Being with others: a fundamental human motive • The social aspect of human nature is evident as soon as we are born. • Although babies are helpless, they are equipped with reflexes that orient them toward other people. • For example, they are more responsive to human faces than to animals. They respond to human voices, and can mimic other people’s facial gestures. • If one reflects on the amount of time we spend interacting (talking, being with, flirting, etc) with other people, one will quickly realize that we remain highly social throughout our life. • According to Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary (1996), the need to belong is a basic human motive . • This can be seen in everyday life: we react with joy when we form new social attachments, and with anxiety and grief when these bonds are broken (e.g. long distance relationships, divorce, death, social rejection, and any form of “social death”). • As a result, we care deeply about how others see us. We put a lot of effort into making ourselves presentable to others. • In some people this feeling is so extreme that they suffer from social anxiety ○ It is an intense feeling of discomfort in situations where social scrutiny is possible (i.e. judgment by others. ○ An example of this anxiety during public speaking. ○ However, in people who suffer more sever social anxiety, the problem can extend to many other social situations (e.g. urinating in a public bathroom when others are present), to the extent that these people prefer to just stay at home. • In short, people who have many meaningful social ties tend to be happier and healthier (both physically and mentally). The thrill of affiliation • Need for affiliation: ○ Is the desire to establish social contact with others. ○ Is the driving force of all our social interactions. • People differ in their level of their need for affiliation; we all seek an optimum balance between time interacting with others, and time being alone. This optimum balance is different for every individual....
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This note was uploaded on 04/18/2008 for the course PSYC 215 taught by Professor Michaelsullivan during the Spring '08 term at McGill.
- Spring '08
- Social Psychology