Chapter 6 - Chapter 6 Love is an emotion and a behavior...

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Chapter 6 Love is an emotion and a behavior Eight Qualities of friendships 1. Enjoyment –friends enjoy being together. 2. Acceptance –friends accept each other the way they are. 3. Trust —friends trust and look out for each other. 4. Respect —friends respect each other’s judgment. 5. Mutual support –friends help each other without expecting anything in return. 6. Confiding –friends share experiences and feelings. 7. Understanding –friends are sympathetic about each other’s feelings and thoughts. 8. Honesty –friends are open and honest. They feel free to be themselves and say what they think. Love includes all of these and three more Sexual desire Priority over other relationships Caring to the point of great sacrifice Self love Essential for our social and emotional development and as prerequisite for loving others Important basis for self esteem Friendship + Love includes all of the qualities of friendship plus three more: o Sexual desire o Priority over other relationships o Caring to the point of self-sacrifice Love, like friendship, is a process that grows over time. Friendships differ Love Love is multifaceted o Many dimensions and can be exciting, irrational, obsessive, romantic Love is based on respect Love is often demanding Lust vs. Love o Sexual arousal physiological rather than a psychological state o Sexual desire is a psychological state. Sexual desire may or may not lead to romantic love
Romantic love is an intense feeling that can provide ecstasy when fulfilled or deep suffering when the feeling isnt reciprocated. Caring Love includes caring or wanting to help the other person. Caring means responding to the other person’s needs. Intimacy emphasizes feelings of closeness. Couples experience intimacy when they have shared history, an identity as a couple, emotional interest in each other, and share hopes and dreams for the future o Physical, affective and verbal intimacy o Self- disclosure is when one person reveals his or her honest thoughts and feelings with the expectation that open communication will follow o Increases as people let down their defenses, learn to relax in each others company and are mutually supportive Commitmen t is a persons intention to remain in a relationship and work through any problems. It doesn’t necessarily mean marriage but it may lead to marriage. Mutual commitment can arise out of a sense of loyalty and fidelity to one’s partner, a religious or legal belief in the sanctity of marriage, or a legal contract, continued optimism about future rewards ( emotiona, financial, sexual or others), or a strong emotional attachment What attracts people to each other Cultural norms and values not fate bring people together Theories of love 1. Biochemistry 2. Attachment 3. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love 4. Lee’s Styles of Loving Biochemistry An interplay between hormones, chemicals, and neurotransmitters (chemical

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