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Revision -- Sentence Level.doc - Revision - revise at the...

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Revision - revise at the sentence levelRead your paper out loud, sentence by sentence, and follow Peter Elbow's advice: "Look for places where youstumble or get lost in the middle of a sentence. These are obvious awkwardness's that need fixing. Look forplaces where you get distracted or even bored—where you cannot concentrate. These are places where youprobably lost focus or concentration in your writing. Cut through the extra words or vagueness or digression;get back to the energy. Listen even for the tiniest jerk or stumble in your reading, the tiniest lessening of yourenergy or focus or concentration as you say the words . . . A sentence should be alive" (Writing with Power135).Practical advice for ensuring that your sentences are alive:Use forceful verbs—replace long verb phrases with a more specific verb. For example, replace "Sheargues for the importance of the idea" with "She defends the idea."Use accurate and strong nouns and verbs along with adjectives, but worry about the nouns and verbsfirst. For example, if you were revising the sentence "This is a good book that tells about the Civil War,"think about whether ‘book’ and ‘tells’ are as strong as they could be before you worry about ‘good.’ A
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