3402 Notes Apr 9 - Focus on the problem instead of the...

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Deepening Relationships A. Intimacy B. Conflict 1. Sources of Conflict: “Fairness” 2. Conflict Management a. Beginning Conflict i. Express conflict ii. Delay A. Escalation: “gunny sacking” B. “Illegitimate resolution” C. Preparation a. Indentify the “live” source i. Examine conflict in terms of equity ii. Possible sources 1. Identity 2. Aggression 3. Frustration 4. Incompetence/ ignorance 5. Relationship threat 6. Predisposition b. Consider the tactics i. Two dimensions
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1. A. Direct: Being nice, being mean. Anything forward towards another person. Do not get into the “blame game”. This is direct, negative B. Indirect: More subtle strategies. Indirect nice: face protection: stop the person from cutting themselves down (A sense of who you are and self respect: face).
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Unformatted text preview: Focus on the problem instead of the individual. Humor, not sarcasm! Make fun of self or selves together. Indirect Nasty: Minimizing personal responsibility. Avoiding discussion. Deflect the Conversation. Rather than talk about problem, talk about problem you’re having talking. . 2. Cooperation- competition Persuasion/Coercion (competitive) Avoidance (nothing) Problem Solving (Cooperative) Least used category. 3. Relaxation: Arousal: When we have too much arousal we tend to personalize something. Conflict tactics during interaction. In healthy couples there should be a 5 to 1 positive to negative comment ratio. IN an unhealthy couple it’s more like 1 to 1....
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