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Unformatted text preview: CHAPTER 8: RELATIONSHIPS IN PROCESS Bases of Human Attraction Human attraction , or liking, has a bearing on marriage, friendship, family, small-group, and work relationships The most obvious determinant of attraction is proximity , or geographic closeness ~if you are not within a reasonable distance of another person, your chances of meeting and becoming friends is slim ~once you get to know someone, proximity also affects whether or not your friendship will continue ~one theory says that if we know we are going to be very close in proximity to someone, we tend to minimize or even overlook that persons less desirable traits ~proximity tends to intensify liking because opportunities for communication clearly increase as a function of proximity ~proximity is a precondition of liking, but there are also other bases for attraction Despite the romantic notion that opposites attract, there is little evidence that this is so. Many personal columns in newspapers or magazines show important similarity (sharing of interests, religious background, race, and social background) is perceived to be ~there is substantial evidence for assertive mating, mating based on similarities ~for both sexes, the importance of physical attractiveness has increased, as well as good financial prospects in a mate; the importance men place on domesticity has declined ~mutual attraction and love have become more important ~evolution in values is in part a response to cultural changes ~similarity as a basis for attraction is not just in selection of mates, but in all types of human relationships and thus in many forms of communication ~we tend to like people who have the same believes and attitudes we have, and when we like people we want them to have the same attitudes we have ~attraction paradigm: there is a high correlation between attraction and perceived similarity of attitudes Several situations also qualify what can reasonably be predicted about your attraction to others ~your attraction to others can depend on whether perceived reciprocity of liking (whether you feel that people you like also like you) exists-first, people who like you increase your sense of self-worth; second, their liking behavior is a compliment, and you return the compliment with reciprocal liking ~ change in your level of self-esteem also influences your choice of peoples -when self esteem has recently been lowered, our need for affiliation increases, and, and we become more accepting of affection from others. It is then that people we might have considered unappealing may seem more desirable as companions ~ anxiety affects your need to interact or affiliate with people-anxiety-producing situations can increase your need to be with others and also change your criteria for choosing companions-anxious subjects prefer to be with others who are anxious too-the need to be comforted when sharing unpleasant experiences supersedes other needs for associating with people ~ isolation from the rewards of others...
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- Winter '07