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Unformatted text preview: Example of student paper with comments Writing Assignment #2 PART 1  Spring Night in Lo-yang Hearing a Flute Li Bo Phoenixes that play here once, so that the place was named for them, Have abandoned it now to this desolated river; The paths of Wu Palace are crooked with weeds; The garments of Chin are ancient dust. ...Like this green horizon halving the Three Peaks, Like this Island of White Egrets dividing the river, A cloud has risen between the Light of Heaven and me, To hide his city from my melancholy heart. Translation: The phoenixes for which this land was named, used to live here They have left us in desolation The entrance to the Wu Palace is overgrown with weeds; The clothing of Chin are no more. Like the skyline being broken apart by the mountain peaks, Like this Island of birds breaking the river in two A cloud enshrouds the city so God cannot see us, So God may hide this desperate city from those blissful few who remain. Brigitta Lee 10/21/08 11:28 AM Comment: Make sure the title goes with the poem. For the Li Bo poems online, the title actually FOLLOWS the poem it is associated with. PART 2 Suffering the Aftermath of War Li Bos poem Spring Night in Lo-yang Hearing a Flute is about one of the many Tang cities decimated in the early 750s. Li Bos poem uses contrasting imagery and parallelism in his regulated verse in order to create a mood that conveys a negative transgression from a lovely city to grim ruins thus revealing how war devastates mankind and nature....
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- Fall '08