poetry critique joe

poetry critique joe - would work better and help diversify...

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America’s Pastime This poem is well written and definitely makes its point about something we have all seen, if not in real life, in the movies. The language is appropriate to the sport, and the line works within the poem as well. The ending, however, I think could be more useful without the colon – something like “The only outcome was that the boy/ snapped like the laces of on a glove.” It works as a whole, and gets the point across, but the two similes comparing him to a glove are very similar. Perhaps saying something like “The boy snapped like the laces of his glove, or he snapped along with the laces of his glove”
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Unformatted text preview: would work better and help diversify it. Coming Home I think that everyone away from home can identify well with this poem. This does a good job of pointing out the things in the room, but I think it would make it more personal if you perhaps described some of the more personal things in it that make it yours, that only you would notice and remember. Also, any changes that may have bothered you or come to your attention since you left would help make the fact that you’ve been away more important and noticeable. Other than that, I like the language and the short line that continues the poem....
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