Faye_J_Fong

Faye_J_Fong - Faye J Fong Writing 122 Peer Review Jessica...

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Unformatted text preview: Faye J Fong Writing 122: Peer Review Jessica Lamb March 4, 2008 Why So Many Have to Suffer? Good question, Katherine! I like your research topic. The title of your paper seems very broad though. The question I have after a glance at your title is who or what is suffering from what. Perhaps you might want to mention or make a connection between the inhumane animal testing in the process of product manufacturing. Although your draft is incomplete, you have done a great job presenting your ideas on paper. However, there are quite a few mechanic and grammar concerns that distract the flow of your sentences. If you have a chance, you might want to stop by the Tutoring Center. I have found that the writing tutor service is very helpful and supportive. The Draize eye irritancy and Lethal Dose 50 Percent tests are great examples for your claim. And through your to-the-point descriptions of both tests, you have effectively informed your readers of the cruelty of animal testing and, therefore, have successfully gained sympathy...
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Faye_J_Fong - Faye J Fong Writing 122 Peer Review Jessica...

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