Fifth Family Development Notes

Fifth Family Development Notes - Fifth Several Weeks of...

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Fifth Several Weeks of Family Development Notes March 6, 2008 Marriage= Terminology: Marital Success 1. Marital Stability vs. Marital Instability Status of marriage – whether it is continuing or the spouses have separated or divorced 2. Satisfaction/Quality- refers to in terms of spouses evaluation of their marriage – how happy they are Myth 1: Your marriage is either happy or it isn’t. Majority of couples report “ups and downs” Early & later reports= Couples who report seriously considering divorce later report being happy with marriages Ideal of marriage permanence helps couples ride out “lows” Marital permanence refers to the belief that marriage is for a lifetime Divorce is not an option (except in abuse) Associated with both marital stability and satisfaction (Amato & Rogers, 1999) Exchange theory – people who adopt more favorable ideas toward divorce will invest less in marriage. - Over time, fewer investments will erode marital quality. Research suggests that less Americans believe in marital permanence than in the last 30 or 40 years. Myth 2: Meeting the right person is a matter of chance. People are more likely to marry someone that they meet through friends. Need strategies to put yourself in the “right place at the right time” Doesn’t make you desperate or on a “mission” for marriage! Myth 3: The best way to screen a potential spouse is to live with that person. Attachment & lack of objectivity= Cohabitation occurs after people have become very attached – too hard to be objective. Lot of personal, structural, & moral commitments made with cohab. Casper & Sayer -Cohabitors who are testing relationship to see if marriageable-most likely to break up. Behavioral differences - People act differently when living together vs. when married. Myth 4: If you marry the right person, love is enough. Skills needed for good communication and emotional management to maintain a successful marriage. Avoid pro-divorce for dissatisfaction
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Avenues for individual and couple development Marital Cynicism –Idea that marriage is social institution that hurts men and women. Jesse Bernard – 1972- The Future of Marriage – each marriage was really two marriages – his and hers – men received all the benefits from marriage. Is anyone really happy in marriage? Yes, people are happily married! Research results Wealth Happiness Marital Advantages 1. Health & Longevity= ~Higher rates of mortality for nonmarried men (250%) and women (50%) ~Biggest gap in mortality is early middle age 35-40 yrs. Old ~Less likely to suffer from long-term chronic illness or disabilities ~Longevity -9/10 married men age 45 -> 65 vs. 6/10 unmarried. -9/10 married women 45 -> 65 vs. 8/10 unmarried
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Fifth Family Development Notes - Fifth Several Weeks of...

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