Notes 3-28 and 3-30 and 4-2

Notes 3-28 and 3-30 and 4-2 - Notes 3/28/07 Dulfano-...

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Notes 3/28/07 Dulfano- dominant approach to family therapy o The family should be seen as a system. When two people marry, they bring different expectations to the marriage. These expectations must be resolved in a way that allows each member to maintain their identity. o When children are born, spouses must learn new tasks. What’s really important is that they have to develop new patters within their relationship. o Any change in any part of the family affects other members in that family. o If one person changes, they all change to adapt to the other members change. o Often times these changes in members lead to changes in the relationships between the members. This is something of an evolving process. One small change in one member has ramifications- everybody changes and will change. This means there is a constant need for compromise within the family The growth and development of an individual is dependent upon the family, how they evolve, how much they compromise…etc. The family is a social system (I turned out one way, and it was greatly influenced greatly by my parents!) Alcohol can drastically affect this social system. o Alcohol in the social system: o The evolution of the relationship between husband and wife will shift so that it revolves around the alcoholic. You might be able to have intimate and fun conversations with other members, but if you add alcohol to the equation, it will influence all of that. Intimacy will tend to cease. As a result, children pick up on the fact that there is tension in the relationship. (Mom and Dad sleep separately now and argue all the time) This will influence their behavior When you have 2 functioning parents, there is usually going to be a division of labor. If you take one parent out of the equation, children will have to pick up the slack on household chores (you may accelerate the maturity of the child). Older children will assume a “parental role” in the eyes of younger siblings and alters dynamic system. o Younger children will start to resent older siblings that are acting in the “parental role.” o The normal roles of all the members of the family are lost when someone becomes an alcoholic. As a result, the pursuit of normal family roles is often abandoned.
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o When children find that their needs are not being met, they may embrace these new familial roles. For a few months you may have rebelled against new roles, but once you have resolved these issues you embrace them (older sibling will embrace position of authority and this may not be good for younger siblings- an older sibling may sabotage younger siblings development by making them dependent on you and they will not trust you) They will wonder if the older sibling is doing these things because they are on a power trip or because they “actually care” (once the younger sibling is mature and less dependent, the older sibling is
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Notes 3-28 and 3-30 and 4-2 - Notes 3/28/07 Dulfano-...

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