Incredibly Annoying English Assignment 1 - Ryan Matsumoto Essay 1 Grade 98\/100 Rational\/Examples Introduction Paragraph Essay starts with a hook Imagine

Incredibly Annoying English Assignment 1 - Ryan Matsumoto...

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Ryan Matsumoto Essay 1: Grade: 98/100 Rational/Examples: Introduction Paragraph: Essay starts with a hook. “Imagine having not being able to understand emotions or read emotions.” The rest of the intro guides reader to the thesis. 10/10 Thesis: Thesis is not to narrow or to vague. Uses the “leads to” format. 10/10 Topic/Concluding Sentence: Topic sentence introduces the paragraph well. For example, “The author also reveals through Christopher’s autism that he becomes more courageous and matures because of his father’s lies” tells us that the paragraph is going to talk about courage and maturity. Textual Evidence: Throughout the essay, the book was quoted and summarized. This is especially emphasized when certain things frighten Christopher so immensely that he becomes “sick,” “curl[s] up on the ground” and groans, sometimes for hours at a time. A little more evidence could have possibly been used. 9/10 Analysis & Explanation: When the writer is trying to show how the boy matured, he gives evidence from the book about needing to hear white noise to make him not scared. After this, the writer explains the evidence by saying: “ This is not the mark of a person who would be capable of journeying alone through a huge city such as London to find his mother. ” 9/10 Conclusion Paragraph: Conclusion paragraph starts by restating the thesis ( In The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, Mark Haddon educates the audience about how betrayal can ironically give someone the power to overcome adversity and fear. ) and key points ( He shows that even someone with autism is capable of overcoming anxiety in order to discover the truth.) . 10/10 Grammatical Elements: No spelling or grammatical errors were made 10/10 Style: Transitions were used well in the essay. Words such as “also” made one paragraph flow into the next. 10/10 Organization: Essay was well organized. It went Intro/Body/Body/Conclusion. Each paragraph started with a intro then went into evidence and then ended with a conclusion. 10/10 MLA & Following Directions: Paragraph used MLA correctly.

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