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#2006 University of South AfricaAll rights reservedPrinted and published by theUniversity of South AfricaMuckleneuk, PretoriaMGG201W/1/2007±2009980593863B2A4 6pica style
(iii)MGG201W/1/2007±2009ContentsThemePage1UNDERSTANDING COUPLES1Introduction11The tripod of couple relationships31.1 Passionate attraction31.1.1 Love4(a) Actions speak louder than verbal promises of love and devotion5(b) Love requires a reciprocal investment from both parties6(c) Love needs management6(d) The goal is to be just reasonably content71.2 Mutual expectations71.2.1 Myths81.2.2 Expectations about roles and responsibilities111.2.3 Expectations about life events111.3 Personal intentions121.4 Individual differences and their impact on the couple relationship131.5 Gender differences131.5.1 Similarities131.5.2 Physiological differences141.5.3 Differences in communication styles and patterns of emotionalexpression151.5.4 Perceptions of rules/roles for the relationship161.6 The effects of ethnicity and culture181.6.1 Definition of a family201.6.2 Formation of values201.6.3 Culture and family life cycle transitions211.6.4 Cultural practices change with time211.6.5 Cross-cultural unions221.7 Becoming a couple231.7.1 Couple formation251.7.2 Characteristics of healthy couples26SUMMARY282CHANGES THAT COUPLES GO THROUGH: PSYCHOLOGICAL TASKSAND FAMILY LIFE CYCLE DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES31Introduction312.1 Psychological tasks of couples in long-term relationships342.1.1 Consolidatingpsychologicalseparationandestablishingnewconnections with the family of origin342.1.2 Building togetherness and creating autonomy34
(iv)ThemePage2.1.3 Establishing a sexual identity352.1.4 Establishing the relationship as a zone of safety and nurturance362.1.5 Negotiating parenthood362.1.6 Building a relationship that is fun and interesting372.1.7 Maintainingadualvisionofeachotherthatcombinesearlyidealisation with reality perception382.2 The family life cycle382.2.1 Different family life cycle theories392.2.2 Stressors4188.8.131.52 Vertical stressors4184.108.40.206 Horizontal stressors4220.127.116.11 System-level stressors412.2.3 Carter and McGoldrick's family life cycle model418.104.22.168 Stage 1: the unattached young adult44(a) Keyprincipleoftheemotionaltransitionoftheunattached adult45(b) Second-order changes that have to be accomplished45(c) Clinical considerations46(d) A locally specific perspective422.214.171.124 Stage 2: the joining of families through marriage48(a) Key principle of the emotional transition of the newcouple48(b) Second-order changes that have to be accomplished49(c) Issues in marital adjustment49(d) Clinical considerations50(e) A locally specific perspective52(f) Clinical interventions5126.96.36.199 Stage 3: families with young children54(a) Key principle of the emotional transition of familieswith young children55(b) Second-order changes that have to be accomplished55(c) Clinical considerations57(d) A locally specific perspective5188.8.131.52 Stage 4: families with adolescents60(a) Key principle of the emotional transition of familieswith adolescents60(b) Second-order changes that have to be accomplished61(c) Clinical considerations62