10/05/17Love and commitment Companionate love --> friendship love“... the affection and tenderness we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined”❖Based on a deep sense of friendship❖Involves companionship and enjoyment of shared activities or interests❖Built on a foundation of admiration, trust, and respect❖Sex is less intense and plays a less central role for companionate lovers ❖Women report higher levels of companionate loveWhat makes a marriage last?➔“My spouse is my best friend.”➔“I like my spouse as a person.”Neural and hormonal level-Activates the areas of the brain associated with caregiving -Tied to vasopressin and oxytocin Love over time ●Passionate love tends to decrease over time●Companionate love increases over time because it relies on intimacy processes○At least initially●Both decline over the course of marriage●Does not decline with ageCan we predict relationship longevity?Interdependence Theory
-Satisfaction-DependenceSatisfaction-Outcomes >Comparison Level (CL) = Satisfaction-Getting what, and more than, you expectDependence-Outcomes >Comparison level for alternative (Clalt) = Dependence-Degree to which one relies on a relationship for outcomes-Can needs be fulfilled by other interactions?-I.e. Katie WrightOutcomes - rewards v. costsGoodness of outcomes Calculating SatisfactionCalculation Dependence^ The same line Commitment-The subjective experience of dependence-Closeness, attachment, loyalty, obligation-Intention to remain-Long-term orientationbetterworseoutcomesComparison level
The investment modelSatisfaction●Cose v rewards = outcomes●Experiences (CL)●Outcomes >CLAlternatives●Other potential partners●Specific or general●No relationshipInvestments●Irretrievable resources●Children, house, $$$●Joint social networks●Time, emotions Jerica Lecturing - Relationship Cognition:SATALTINVCommitment-Stay/Leave behavior-Perspective taking-Accommodation-Derogation of alternative-Willingness to sacrifice-Illusions/perceived relationship superiority-Fidelity
What is relationship cognition? Cognition - the mental process of knowing, including awareness, perception, reasoning, and judgment.Implicit Theories of Relationships:Two mindsets that we can hold - 1.Destiny (Fixed)2.Growth (relationships get better with time)Destiny mindset - 1.Potential partners are either right or wrong2.A successful relationship is mostly a matter of finding the right partner3.Relationships that do not start off well will probably fail.Growth mindset - 1.The ideal relationship grows over time2.Obstacles can make love even stronger3.A relationship succeeds through hard work and resolution of incompatibilities.