assholes - Kevin Geneva ENGL 115 Prof Garcia 5 March 2008 A...

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Unformatted text preview: Kevin Geneva ENGL 115 Prof Garcia 5 March 2008 A Hole? No, A-hole Here at Penn State, we are blessed with numerous parties every single weekend. A lot of us don’t even know the people we’re partying with, especially when we’re at frats. Unfortunately though, no matter what the party setting, you are guaranteed to run into jerks, jackasses, and assholes. Not only can they ruin your night, but they can keep you from getting drunk, kick your ass, and sometimes steal your girlfriend. But have no fear, Kevin is here. In the next few pages I’m going to help you positively identify the types of assholes, help you to deal with them, and sometimes even get them to give you beer. The three main types of assholes encountered at parties are the meatheads, the power-hungry bartender, and the stark raving drunk. The meathead is a pretty easy asshole to identify. There are a few telltale characteristics that give his true nature. They are: 1. Tight polo shirts that shows off their pectorals and arms (which they affectionately call guns). 2. Clean-cut hair that has way to much gel in it. They got a new haircut. Their boys who are comin’ out, they got the same fuckin’ haircut. 3. They’re tryin’ to get some pussy. 1 4. They reek of cheap cologne and arrogance. 5. They smoke cigarettes like a girl, go for the disgustingly tan girl, talk about the gym non- stop, and have small testicles due to steroids. 1 1 If you don’t understand points 2 & 3, search “My new haircut” on YouTube. 6. Opaque Gucci knockoff sunglasses that you’re pretty sure your mom almost bought at the mall that one time....
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This note was uploaded on 03/19/2008 for the course ENGL 015 taught by Professor Stjean,shawnr during the Spring '07 term at Penn State.

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assholes - Kevin Geneva ENGL 115 Prof Garcia 5 March 2008 A...

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