sample ques onion.doc - MASSILLON OHStressed and sorefooted...

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MASSILLON, OH—Stressed and sore- footed Americans everywhere are clamoring for the exciting new MagnaSoles shoe inserts, which stimulate and soothe the wearer’s feet using no fewer than five forms of pseudoscience. “What makes MagnaSoles different from other insoles is the way it harnesses the power of magnetism to properly align the biomagnetic field around your foot,” said Dr. Arthur Bluni, the pseudo scientist who developed the product for Massillon-based Integrated Products. “Its patented Magna- Grid design, which features more than 200 isometrically aligned Contour Points TM , actually soothes while it heals, restoring the foot’s natural bioflow.” “MagnaSoles is not just a shoe insert,” Bluni continued. “it’s a total foot- rejuvenation system.” According to scientific-sounding literature trumpeting the new insoles, the Contour Points TM also take advantage of the semi- plausible medical technique known as reflexology. Practiced in the Occident for over eleven years, reflexology, the literature explains, establishes a correspondence between every point on the human foot and another part of the body, enabling your soles to heal your entire body as you walk. But while other insoles have used magnets and reflexology as keys to their appearance of usefulness, MagnaSoles go several steps further. According to the product’s Web sit, “Only MagnaSoles utilize the healing power of crystals to restimulate dead foot cells with vibrational biofeedback…a process similar to that by which medicine makes people better.” In addition, MagnaSoles employ a brand- new, cutting-edge form of pseudoscience known as Terranometry, developed specifically for Integrated Products by some of the nation’s top pseudo scientists.
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