Ch 14.ppt - Chapter 14 Healing the Hurt Relationship Repair...

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Chapter 14 Healing the Hurt Relationship Repair and Reconciliation
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The challenge is in maintaining connectedness with other humans while also dealing with the fact that humans hurt each other The kiss of the porcupines
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THE INVESTMENT MODEL OF RELATIONSHIP- MAINTAINING BEHAVIOR
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Investment Model of Relationship-Maintaining Behavior Starts with Interdependence Theory Every relationship has a unique pattern of interdependence based on the specific rewards and costs exchanged, as well as the degree to which they are dependent on each other to reach their goals
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Investment Model of Relationship-Maintaining Behavior Investment model expands on interdependence and applies it to situations calling for relationship repair Investment Model of Relationship- Maintaining Behavior – commitment helps protect relationships against the destruction that hurtful events and conflict can cause
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Commitment
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Investment Model of Relationship-Maintaining Behavior Commitment Satisfaction, investments, and alternatives predict how committed people are to their relationships
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Investment Model of Relationship-Maintaining Behavior Satisfaction Based on two things 1. Rewards must outweigh costs Rewards – exchanged resources that are pleasurable and gratifying Includes affection, support, finances Costs – exchanged resources that result in a loss or punishment Includes relationship transgressions and conflict
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Investment Model of Relationship-Maintaining Behavior Satisfaction Based on two things 2. Outcome – ratio of costs to rewards must be as good or better than expected Positive outcome – rewards outweigh costs Negative outcome – costs outweigh rewards Rewards – costs = outcome
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Investment Model of Relationship-Maintaining Behavior Satisfaction Important to remember Rewards and costs can be hard to quantify Some rewards and costs are more important than others
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Investment Model of Relationship-Maintaining Behavior Satisfaction Not just about positive or negative outcomes, but also about expectations Comparison Level – involves the kinds of outcomes a person expects to receive in a relationship Based on past relational experiences and observations of other people s relationships
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Investment Model of Relationship-Maintaining Behavior Satisfaction Comparison levels influence how much positive behavior a person expects from their partner People were most satisfied when their partner engaged in lots of rewarding behavior that met or exceeded their comparison level
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Investment Model of Relationship-Maintaining Behavior Investments Resources that become attached to a relationship and would decline in value or be lost if the relationship were to end
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Investment Model of Relationship-Maintaining Behavior Investments Intrinsic Investments – those put directly into the relationship Includes time, effort, affection, disclosure
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