ending relationships.ppt - Chapter 15 Ending Relationships...

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Chapter 15 Ending Relationships Disengagement and Termination
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Why relationships end
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Why Relationships End All relationships end sometime, somehow Knowing that relationships end keeps some people from forming relationships in the first place Since relationships exist within a social network, the end of a relationship often means the loss of other ties as well
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Why Relationships End Infidelity and Interest in a Third Party Infidelity can be sexual or emotional For men, affairs are about self-gratification For women, affairs are a violation of the relationship
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Why Relationships End Infidelity and Interest in a Third Party Interest in a third party (whether it involves sex or not) creates jealousy and sometimes violence Available attractive alternatives makes break- ups more likely
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Why Relationships End Incompatibility Lack of Similarity – the more two people have in common, the more likely they are to stay together Important in friendships and romantic relationships Similarity in beliefs, values and attitudes especially important Interethnic relationships at greater risk of break-up due to lack of similarity
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Why Relationships End Incompatibility Lack of Similarity Differences in educational background and intelligence pose problems Also a problem if there are differences in health and emotional involvement in the relationship
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Why Relationships End Incompatibility Sexual Incompatibility can lead to several problems associated with relational dissatisfaction Differences arise over desired frequency, types of behaviors, fidelity issues Frequency itself not as important as compatibility
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Why Relationships End Alcohol and Drugs May lead to violence, addiction, problems with the law, money and work May also lead to codependency – letting the partner’s behaviors greatly affect their own Cycles of control and punishment to nurturing and reinforcing
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Why Relationships End Growing Apart Atrophy – some relationships wither away due to different interests, decreased communication, distance, or competition Usually happens in friendships Can happen in marriages as marital happiness declines over time
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Why Relationships End Loss Of Love Chronic Dissatisfaction – hard to withstand a long history of dissatisfaction Eats away at feelings of warmth and joy
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Why Relationships End Loss Of Love Relational Disillusionment when people’s positive illusions about their partner and the relationship start to fade Moving out of the “honeymoon phase” Leads to decreases in affection and caring, loss of emotional attachment, and disappointment in the relationship and the partner
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Why Relationships End Equity Issues Related to Family Obligation History of inequality makes this especially important to women “Superwoman syndrome” – women under a lot of stress trying to work outside the home and maintain the household at the same time
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