part 1.docx - I started painting a lot more More than I...

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I started painting a lot more. More than I have ever painted before. It is the only thing that stopped the pain. I tried reading but I would not be able to retain the words. I would read a whole page and not have a clue what I just read. I would even reread paragraphs numerous times and I would still not know what had been said. I would sit in front of the fire for ages, hearing the house creak as if I was not alone. I came to the conclusion that it was just my mind, hoping that one day I would hear the footsteps again. I held on to the little hope that I had left, in my heart I still believe he was alive. I would not give up the thought that he was still alive until we found the body. I had nothing to prove he was gone, no ceremony, not grave to visit, not even a body. But I did still have all the things he left behind. All his clothes were still in his room like he had never left. It got to the point where I could no longer hold onto the tangible items that he left behind.
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