Lecture 9.docx - What is love Theres a page dealing with...

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What is love? - There’s a page dealing with stern birth’s triangle theory of birth o Test** Commitment, passion and intimacy Intimacy interpersonal emotional intimacy Every year in valentines day, he gets asked if love dies after a period .. Test*** When you find a bad partner, everyone knows theyre bad but not you because your brain chemistry is messed up o They looked at people’s brain in love vs normal people Loved people looked like they have mentla health issues via pet scans and you miss out on the things everyone sees but you Test** o Brain chemistry dies after 6-12 months then you return to normal The passion stage lust when you don’t make good judgement your serotonin goes down which is associated with depression, anxiety and OCD, dopamine increases, HGF goes up etc. your brain looks like you have mental health issues o Over time, the pyramid can tilt to other sides (little sex, you sleep on the couch etc.) Test** The No.1 point in this triangle and to survive a long-term relationship is COMMITMENT to get through the rough time - Once you’re committed and missed all the signs that you should have left the signs, soon within the relationship something big has happened o Test** The most powerful to explain human behavior in America They have 2 delusional beliefs which are “I am …” Good and Smart People don’t have the internal strength to say im an asshole and im so stupid We haven’t been taught to take responsibility and recognize our mistakes Most people grow up weak and don’t recognize their mistakes and admit them but you cannot deny what you did and can’t admit it the only thing is to distort your experience Test** People do stupid things and don’t admit it is called “cognitive dissonance reduction” aka “rationalization” and make up excuses for each other Victim blaming whenever there was shooting in a big city, one of the first thing that people hear and look for is to look at the address “Oh its Jane and Finch Im safe!” or “Oh they deserve this” o People want to blame a victim because it wont happen to me Just world hypothesis good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people
- Compartmentalization is good learning not to get overwhelmed, putting up a wall for the time being o Aka the ultimate form of “suppression” - Most people in a LTR will not break up with their SO because of: Investment theory buying a house is a CDR because when you break up a couple of years later you basically admitted that you were wrong 2 years ago ..

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