Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood what the 5 Habit of Highly Effective Teens is?—Listen to people sincerely. 11 th Grade Mester2 Week 4 INSTRUCTIONS Purpose: To learn steps on how to listen better. Time: 20 - 30 minutes for 3 days Materials: Defective Teens-not!! PPT, A Short Poem About Listening, Create A Five Listening Styles Chart Assignment: Students will learn the five listening styles through Habit 5: Seek First to Talk, Then Pretend to Listen. Reflections: Students will reflect and write the poor listening style they struggle with most. The teacher: explains to students that communication is the most important skill in life. “Seek first to understand” involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They’re either speaking or preparing to speak. They’re filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into the other people’s lives. Before they can walk in another’s shoes, they must first remove their own. When another speaks we’re usually listening at one of 4 levels: 1) Ignoring – not really listening at all 2) Pretending – “yeah, “uh-huh”, “right” 3) Selective listening – hearing only parts 4) Attentive listening – focusing and paying attention to the words But few people practice the 5th level – Empathic Listening. This form of listening gets inside another person’s frame of reference. They see the world the way they see it. They understand their paradigm and how they feel. Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival; to be understood, to be validated, to be appreciated. Because we listen autobiographically, we tend to respond in one of four ways: 1) We evaluate: we agree or disagree 2) We probe: ask questions from our own frame of reference 3) We advise: give counsel based on our experience
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- Fall '16