The Miskatonic JumpChain.pdf

The Miskatonic JumpChain.pdf - By Tamerai Hello I take it...

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By Tamerai Hello. I take it you’re new? This is Miskatonic University, the most prestigious university devoted to occult science in the world and, oddly enough, one of the safest places on earth. You wouldn’t know it, what with entire departments being wiped out all at once, but trust me. The rest of the world is much worse, though some of the greater threats to mankind have been subdued. Of course, what with the nature of our prestigious university, new ones always have a chance of popping up once in a while. Ah, I see you have a scholarship. That’ll help you quite a bit here. Most normal people don’t tend to do well here, but I can tell already. You aren’t normal. Maybe more so than our other newcomer, Charlotte LeStrange, but not by much. Anyways, I’ll get this paperwork and you can be on your way. +1000CP
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History Security Guard Oh ho hoooh. Little dearie, might you be a... witch? Yes? No? Well, it matters little in the long run, as all things do. It matters not, matters not, what you do, what you say or what you screw. Oh little guard, you may think you are here to offer protection to the students and staff of our prestigious university, and indeed that is what you are employed to do, but alas, all are powerless before the cosmos. I wonder how you’ll fair. Why, just last week a guard in the Math department got sucked into a wormhole leading to some parallel dimension filled with people chanting “Kill Jim!”. See, it isn’t so bad? A whole dimension chanting his name! Doesn’t that sound swell? Student The students here are all so odd, so… mutated. Grotesque, even. You’ll fit right in! Oh, but don’t forget to sign up for your classes. We’ve got math, engineering, gardening, and a whole bunch of things. No, I totally didn’t just forget the rest. Shut up. Also, don’t take math. Or engineering. I’m sure gardening’s bad too. Whatever, nerd, just go learn something. Isn’t that why you’re here? Professor A smart one, are you? Or maybe just deranged? Hard to tell these days. Well, if you discount Great Britain. Bunch of lunatics, they are. Just don’t let too many students wander off. Or do too well at their school work. Or too poorly. You know what, just call in sick and let them have a study hall or something. Safer than teaching them, that’s for sure. What? The school wouldn’t like it? Plans? What plans? Hey, I’m tal king to you! Hey! Dunwicher Oh. They left. Scared, I think. I’m Lizzy. Want some grilly cheese? What was they scared of? You. ‘Cause, y’know, you look like a baby sister. You are one? Oh, funs. You even got brainchunks. Much better than growchunks, if you ask me. Yish, nows we can haves some funs. Just don’ go ‘round touchin’ people. They don’ do so well when Yoggy folk touch’em. Prob’bly wan’ to make you help with the portal, too. Shouldn’ though. Yoggy’s a cockbag.
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