Austin Powers JumpChain.pdf

Austin Powers JumpChain.pdf - It’s the year… 1999 No...

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Unformatted text preview: It’s the year… 1999? No, 2003? We’re not entirely sure­ the local, plot­powered time­travel tends to make the numbers a bit sixes and sevens. All we know is that the 60s happened, it was a swinging, groovy time, and then they passed. But we wouldn’t have any of it, if not for those like Austin Powers­ International Man of Mystery! And now you, Jumper, can join in the crazy, wonderful world that is the modern era, built upon the foundation of the Sixties, Seventies, Eighties… We’ll forget the Nineties, nobody cares about them. Yes, the world is dangerous, and often in peril. Fortunately, this world is a parody of the spy genre. More often than not, situations are best resolved by being the cleverest person in the room, rather than the one most competent at your job. To help you on your missions, here’s +1000cp! Choose One Background­ it’s free! All Backgrounds except for Drop­In come with a lifetime of training for the job, covering the mundane skills necessary for your role. Drop­Ins will have a small pile of manuals close at hand upon starting the Jump. (Basically, the boring stuff is covered.) Mr./Ms. Drop­in Exposition The 100cp perk and 50cp item are free for Mr./Ms. Drop­in Exposition. Other selections are 50% off. As Drop­in Exposition, you have no past, and you find yourself in the position of relaying the necessary information to the agents of intrigue under Her Majesty’s employ! This origin comes with a job and credentials, and no one questions your lack of references. Starting Age: 2d8+30 100cp ­ Hello Agent! 300cp ­ I Do Hope You’ll Enjoy Yourself 600cp ­ Good Management and Filing It’s almost as if you arrive just in time to inform people of things! Allied or neutral individuals don’t question your presence or sudden arrival, so long as you intended to explain something to someone present that they don’t already know. Nothing’s stopping you from doing other stuff ​ after​ , mind you... With a kind word and affectionate nod, you can immediately and thoroughly brighten someone’s day. A quick word can put someone in a positive mindset that protects them from stress, mental fatigue or other factors that would hurt their performance. By telling a clerk ‘have a nice day’, they ​ will​ . You have a sterling skill at arranging for things. You can navigate bureaucracies, ensure the right people are at the right places, and solve all kinds of logistical problems. With this perk, you could easily handle the paperwork for someone who came back from the dead, woke from cryosleep, or recently time­traveled. When waiting in queue, lines move five times faster. Equipment for Mr./Ms. Drop­in Exposition 50cp ­ Mission Briefing 100cp ­ Intelligence Report 200cp ­ The Mole This is a manilla folder stamped with the words TOP SECRET, among other things. With a moment’s thought, you can create paperwork that describes a mission, available equipment, contact information and so on. It cannot create anything you don’t already know. Handy for rapidly briefing agents in the field! This is ​ another​ manila folder stamped with the words TOP SECRET. (don’t worry, you’ll never mistake one for the other). By submitting a request to another party (likely a spy organization), you can request information on a subject they would know, and have it printed and teleported to this folder. They will only give you information you’re entitled to have however. This particularly strange bit of costume makeup is distracting. It’s so distracting, and the pun is so obvious, that when worn, no one will ever think of you as a mole in their organization because ​ there’s the bloody mole and we’re not supposed to talk about it but it’s right there winking me in the face! You finished? International Noun of Mystery The 100cp perk and 50cp item are free for International Noun of Mystery. Other selections are 50% off. Recently recovered from cryostasis, you are the most swinging, shag­tacular Agent the world has ever known. Starting Age: 2d8+20 100cp ­ Mojo 300cp ­ Judo Chop! 600cp ­ Twins Basil, Twins! Some call it confidence, or swag. For you? This is your Mojo. With this perk, you can expect any flirtatious action you take to be received positively, so long as it is not hostile or harmful. If someone isn’t interested, they still enjoy a confidence boost as a result of the attention. Works best in any Sixties­Era or similar Free­Love institution. Soul Bossa Nova may play in the background at your discretion as well. Henchmen and other nameless minions fall over after a single punch, or gunfire in their general direction is enough to ‘kill’ them. (They just fall down as if shot and stop fighting). Foes of a higher rank and standard obey chivalric rules of combat without meaning to­ approaching you one at a time or taking turns as you fight them. Strong­willed opponents can still gang up on you. Anyone with a nametag or iconic equipment is immune to this effect. Select a target not yourself or currently affected by this perk. You may revise history so they were always twins. Twins may have a personality split, but will ultimately balance out if together, the equivalent of the original. If seperated, an unbalanced nature will be more evident and open to manipulation. Twins share non­unique abilities like trained skills or talents where possible. A true unique trait will be held by one of the twins. At twinning you may choose to endow them with a twin bond that synchronizes their memories daily and at will (persistently if they so desire). They will have been discrete about this fact. Twinning may be undone. The individual will have the average of all experiences, physical, mental, or spiritual. If one twin died, the individual will have had a major injury requiring surgery or the like. You may also twin an individual without any historical revisionism. The twin simply appears. The bond is mandatory in this case. Equipment for International Noun of Mystery 50cp ­ The Big Book of One­Liners 100cp ­ Charm of the Shaguar 200cp ­ List of Things To Do Before I Die One for every occasion! Opening it to a random page will give you ​ the perfect witticisms for the day to come. This little token­ a decoration you hang on the rearview mirror, puts the spy in spycar. Once attached, a vehicle is granted upgrades such as ejection seats, hidden weapons, bulletproof windows and so on. You may remove and reuse this charm. This is a simple notepad with checkboxes, waiting to be filled out. By making a list of life objectives, (see the world, fulfil a fantasy, finish a novel, etc), you can formalize it in your mind and reality. By performing fateful or dramatic tasks over the course of a jump, such as defeating worthy opponents, saving worlds and so on, chances of you finding opportunities to fulfil your goals increase dramatically. Saving the world won’t take you to the Grand Canyon, but you will run into someone who’s got tickets on a flight, and can offer you a seat. Intelligence Agent The 100cp perk and 50cp item are free for Intelligence Agent. Other selections are 50% off. Hailing from the modern era, you are wise to the ways of the world, attached to a recently recovered International Noun of Mystery or Evil Mastermind. Starting Age: 1d8+20 100cp ­ Modern Standards 300cp ­ Show Some Leg Dealing with the recently unfrozen, the Your hair is always perfect, and you don’t need makeup unless time­traveled, or stranger things can you want it. You look fantastic be stressful. More so with culture overall, with one particular feature clash. Thanks to this perk, you don’t of your choice standing out over have to worry about it. the others. By treating someone the way you wish By revealing or otherwise to be treated (likely with respect), they emphasizing said feature, you can will quickly learn how to reciprocate, thoroughly distract someone, picking up contemporary manners and completely derailing their trains of thought and current objectives for behaviors. several minutes­ only seconds where their good health is concerned, which is still substantial. 600cp ­ Future Better Be Ready Nobody’s ready for you, my dear. You’ve the uncanny observational skills, wits, and acting ability to know how to fit in anywhere, be it decades in the future, an evil mastermind’s organization, or a foreign court. This perk is your one stop shop for rapid cultural adjustment and effortless infiltration. Documents and disguises are up to you to actually procure. You can rapidly, near instantly understand and adapt to a sudden change in setting or circumstance. You quickly identify cultural mores, social structures and how to ‘fit’ into any given place or community. Equipment for Intelligence Agent 50cp ­ Suit and Tie/Bodyglove 100cp ­ Well Packed Bag 200cp ­ Glam Microphone Charm Part of being a Spy is looking the part, and what spy would be caught dead without their tailored wardrobe? You have a choice of a three­piece suit, or a particularly retro (but extremely flattering) snug catsuit, perfect for Spying. More importantly, both can be worn under any other type of clothing. A spy can step out of a wetsuit with their jacket hardly creased. As an agent in the field, you have to have the gear you need when you need it. This is a small dufflebag, suitable for carry­on luggage. It is however, much bigger on the inside, able to contain things like boat oars, skis, tentpoles, assault rifles and so on. This bag can carry 400lbs of stuff, but it will never weigh more than 15lbs. This little trinket can be attached to a microphone or worn on your wrist. As long as you’re holding it, it grants you sweet vocal chops. This means you can nail auditions and find work as a singer in almost any venue. People will accept your job as cover very easily. Evil Mastermind The 100cp perk and 50cp item are free for Evil Mastermind. Other selections are 50% off. Having arrived from the past via time machine (which is now totally broken), you are ready to match wits and deathtraps with the spies of the world. Starting Age: 2d8+20 100cp One ​ Million ​ Dollars! 300cp ­ Deathtraps As long as you have a skill that people You know how to construct deathtraps, with the only limitation is that they must ​ need, or a threat that can be followed have a way to escape. This means they through on, you can name your price succeed in killing or injuring a secret agent in monetary value(adjusted for about half the time. More importantly, any inflation). This means if you are the deathtrap you make ​ will​ delay a secret one person​ who can make the shot, agent for at least six hours. Superhumans you can demand a million dollars. If are only delayed for one hour. you have an orbital super­laser pointed at a city, people will understand you asking for ransom. You must prove yourself good for the money though­ no asking for cash then running. 600cp ­ Overly Long Escape Plan As long as your method of escape is novel and can be commented upon, your pursuers will be befuddled into not reacting to you for quite a while. A good example standby is a provocatively shaped escape vehicle­ in this case, expect hundreds of otherwise competent people to discuss the craft’s distinctive shape, without acting meaningfully upon it. This delay lasts anywhere from ten minutes to twelve hours, depending on how much commentary your escape is worth. Equipment for Evil Mastermind 50cp ­ Sharks 100cp ­ Frickin’ Laser Beams 200cp ­ Evil Lair You have a tank full of man­eating, You have a small armory (approximately You have access to a grand and spacious evil extremely strong sharks. They are 20) individual laser weapons that shoot (tackishly so) lair, likely in some amazing location like a immortal and, if injured, can only be burning laser beams. They have more in tropical volcano or high snow­covered mountain. knocked unconscious (don’t ask how common with cutting lasers, but as a Wherever it is, the lair has facilities and space for that works for a Shark). They’re strong weapon, they are about twice as deadly as deathtraps, research into evil plots, and whatever else enough to bite a man’s head off. an assault rifle. an enterprising mastermind needs. Getting someone into the tank is your You have the schematics, and they are problem easy to follow. Well, for you at least. If you have Sharks, you may automatically attach some of your Frickin’ Laserbeams to their heads at no cost or risk of life and limb. Well, no risk to ​ your​ life or limb. Evil Son­or­Daughter The 100cp perk and 50cp item are free for Evil Son­or­Daughter. Other selections are 50% off. You were born/cloned 100cp ­ Genre Savvy 300cp ­ Why Don’t You Just Shoot Him? from an Evil Mastermind, and are Your vast and encyclopedic If there is a simpler solution to quite frankly appalled at knowledge of all things media culture resolving a matter, you may point how genre blind your has granted you insight into the world. it out and have people accept it as parents are. This perk means you understand and viable. Objectively logical can perceive genre conventions as arguments can defeat your laws of physics or assumptions. This critique however. Starting Age: 1d8+15 means you understand when someone or something is doing something ‘because of the genre’, even if you know nothing else. You’re also ridiculously more likely to get away with snark. Ex. Someone informing you that ‘My deathtrap isn’t ​ supposed ​ to kill him, it’s supposed to make him think ​ I’m trying to kill him.’ 600cp ­ The Only Competent One In The Whole Movie Maybe you went to actual spy school, (instead of the genre academy everyone else went to) or maybe you just pay more attention. Regardless, in a world of genre pastiche spies, you are the only competent one. With this perk, you are granted a masterful grasp of spycraft, martial arts, and other techniques needed to survive in the spy world. This perk also drastically improves your chances of success when working against anyone, from spies to ninjas to scientists, who are ‘less gritty’ than you are. You can stand toe to toe with equally or more competent opponents as well. Equipment for Evil Son­or­Daughter 50cp ­ Film Library 100cp ­ Problem Solver 200cp ­ Prophet’s Profits You have an expanding, automatically updating library of techno­thrillers, spy flicks and similar genre films. The library takes whatever media/formfactor you like, updating at the start of each jump with new content relative to the local universe. A handgun or a veritable handcannon, this is a gun, and it solves problems. Never truly out of hand, it may be summoned or banished at will, in addition to standard ammo for it.. You may choose a single mundane gun or one you already own to have this effect, So long as you can easily fire it one­handed. Your evil parent’s second in command has actually done something practical with all the time travel technology floating around. A journal, full of market data that’s enough to play the stocks for a decade, provided you don’t create waves that are too big, but not much else. The first page is full lottery numbers for the first month to get you your initial funds. Once a decade­ or at the start of a Jump­ you get a new journal. Companions ­ General Import 50­200cp For 50cp, You may import one companion with a history and lifetime that is associated with whatever Origin you picked. For 200cp, you may import eight Companions. Complications ­ You can choose any number of complications, but you can’t gain more than 600cp from them. +100cp ­ Bad Teeth +100cp ­ She’s a ​ Man ​ baby! (But not) +100cp ­ Zip it! Well, it is Britain. You can’t weaponize it, but this ​ will​ break mirrors. You have the alarmingly bad habit of punching out people who may or may not be in disguise. You have a tendency to mistake women for disguised men as well. As an added effect, any time a man ​ is​ disguised as a woman around you, the effect is perfect until they unmask themselves. You’re being interrupted, constantly. Every few conversations, someone will try to cut you off and keep cutting you off, no matter how you try to parry or interject. +200cp ­ Lost Your Mojo +200cp ­ Robot Gogo Dancer Assassins +200cp ­ Mini­Jumper It’s gone. Kaput. Dead. Your confidence is at rock bottom. You haven’t lost any skills or powers, but you are plagued by a crushing sense of doubt that’s put you on a quest to find your Mojo that will take at least five years. They’re robot people with machine gun anatomy. And they’re trying to kill you. Additionally, it is statistically likely that you will end up married to one of them. (Assuming you bother to get married). You have arrived in the jump as normal, but at one­eighth your size. Okay, not really, but you’re still capped to a maximum height of three feet, if you’re even that tall. +300cp ­ Excellent Spy +300cp ­ Completely Immortal Pursuer +300cp ­ Don’t Even Have A Name Tag Other than that... you’re an excellent spy? Any task not directly related to your job is nigh impossible for you to do. You’re utterly ridiculous, prime fodder for mockery, and dramatically more likely to see yourself killed thanks to the resultant tunnel vision. She’s bulletproof, unbreakable, and otherwise immune to anything and everything that could damage her. This is because she’s a woman, and it wouldn’t be groovy to kill a lady on camera. She isn’t immune to being tied up, lost or otherwise restrained however. Even if you manage to restrain her, she will somehow escape within a week and resume her mission. The spy genre runs, at least in part, on a limitless supply of disposable victims to highlight the danger and/or competence of the important actors. People like you! In the presence of anyone with a cool name, distinctive clothing­ basically, if they’re a major character­ you fold like a wet paper towel. You may not act meaningfully to oppose them directly or indirectly. Any shirt you wear instantly becomes red. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! No! No! No­ and I’m spent. You have enjoyed a wonderful ten years in the world of Austin Powers. Now all that’s left is for you to decide where to go from here. Go Home Stay You’re done shagged out. The ‘bots are beaten, the evil This seems like a pretty groovy place to retire, don’t plan is thwarted, and after all this time, you just want to you think? All the benefits of an early 2000s before the take it easy. bubble burst, with a great dash of that swinging sixties You return to your home with all your perks and gear style for flavor. Sure you’ll have a lifetime of evil plots to intact, and all of your companions will appear nearby. thwart, but you have to keep busy somehow. Keep Calm and Carry On As great as this was, it’s time to head on. There are other worlds to explore, and you could use a break from self­referential camp. Notes The Only Competent One In The Whole Movie With this perk, you are better at X when everyone around you is being a genre pastiche or otherwise bumbling, ​ or​ when you are treating everything with dire seriousness and the like. Compare Austin Powers (Least gritty) to Pierce Brosnan's James Bond (Kinda Gritty), to Daniel Craig’s Bond and the Bourne Identity (Most Gritty). ...
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  • Fall '13
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