UNIV 111 Reflection 2 Feeling lost is inevitable when it comes to being human. Everyone experiences obstacles that are hard to conquer and feeling lost and hopeless is one of them. My name is Zahra Nadhem and I am a tall brown haired, brown eyed Middle-Eastern woman. My father was born and raised in Iraq and my mom was born and raised in Lebanon and Australia. My situation is a little more complicated than other Middle-Easterns because my parents each follow different religions. The middle east is made up of both Muslims and Christians depending on the location. My father is Muslim and my Mother is a Christian and whilst growing up neither of my parents ever pushed me towards a specific religion. It was very confusing for me because it wasn’t something anyone I knew personally could relate to. My parents loved each other very much but neither of them wanted to abandon their religions when they got married, they felt it was unnecessary. Prior to having kids my parents agreed that they would raise and teach us both religions and when we’re older we would have the choice. When I was younger I thought it was cool that I got to celebrate both Eid and Christmas but as I grew older I became more confused. I remember being asked “why do you celebrate Eid and have a Christmas tree during Christmas?” And the only reply I had was “It’s hard to explain”. When I turned 17 I started to seriously think about religion. I remember the specific incident that promoted the start of my religious mindset. It was a cold Thursday afternoon the day before Christmas break was about to start. It was Christmas sweater day at school and I was wearing a sweater I had just bought; It was a red Santa sweater with gold stars on it. I was sitting at lunch with all of my best friends eating my favorite food, spinach and cheese lasanga, it smelled like happiness and tasted like heaven in my mouth. My friends and I were discussing our plans for the break and how glad we were to be done with a semester of junior year. Everyone at school was so excited to finally catch a break from the schoolwork after receiving our midterm grades of the semester. When I received my grades for my midterms I was taken aback. I had spent countless of hours studying for each test until I knew the material but even that seemed to not be enough. As I looked around my classroom and at my friends almost everyone seemed to be satisfied with their grades and the majority of the students were chatting away happily. Prior to receiving my grades I had already been going through the hardest time of my life mentally and I felt helpless. Receiving my bad midterm grades was just the cherry on top. I wanted to talk to god but I felt like I couldn’t even do that. This turned one problem into two. My initial problem, my high school depression, couldn’t even be solved with prayers because I felt like my prayers weren’t being heard because I wasn’t directing them anywhere. I constantly questioned myself and my religious choices.
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- Fall '07