THE SHAO FILES 1-8.docx - *Writers Block Related Post Okay...

*Writers Block Related Post*
Okay, so this is where you get to see exactly what happens when I develop
writer’s block. I have a project I’m working on and right now, the words
simply don’t want to come. When that happens, I’ve got one sure-fire
method that never seems to fail.
I write 100 words every 15 minutes.
That’s it. 100 words…fifteen minutes.
That comes out to about 7 words a minute. Period.
7 freaking words a minute.
Usually, what I’ll do is spit out those 100 words, and then spend some time
working on something else entirely.
I have two computers set up – one for the project I’m working on and one for
the shit that I’m going to use to entertain myself while I ignore the shit I
should be working on.
So, I’m going to pause for a minute, write my hundred words, and then come
back here and post some stuff that doesn’t require me to do any thinking
whatsoever.
***
The gorgeous blonde stretched luxuriously beneath the silk sheets, letting
out a little sigh of contentment. She glanced over at the man beside her.
She’d never met anyone like him – smooth, confident, and with an almost
Oriental intensity not normally found in an insurance investigator.
He opened his eyes and gave her a lazy smile.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey.”
She reached for him, then, but before too much began to happen, his phone
rang.
“One minute,” he said, holding up a hand. “I’ve got to take this.”
***
“Shao here.”
“Combs.”
Matt Shao, Oriental insurance investigator, sat bolt upright.
“Yes, sir. What can I do for you?”
“A situation’s arisen and we could use your help. Are you busy?”
Shao glanced at the woman beside him. She gave him the slightest of smiles
and slowly lowered the sheet.
He took a deep breath and sighed.
“Well, to be honest, sir, I was in the middle of – “
“I’ll see you at Headquarters ASAP.”
The line went dead.
“Sorry, honey,” Shao said, getting out of bed, “but I’ve got to get to work.”
“Insurance work at this hour?”
He shook his head.

“More important than insurance, honey – Writers’ Group work.”
***
THEME SONG: “Matt Shao”
Matt Shao…
He’s the man, the man who you need now…
He is Matt Shao…
He’s the one…
The one with some top shelf puns…
And he’s such fun…
Buxom brunettes are attracted to him
And some others go out on a limb
To him, lovemaking’s a whim…
But when writing problems arise
He’s called upon by others so wise
For he’s a master of disguise…
Matt Shao…
Matt Shao…
Matt Shao…
(slow fade out, then a loud)
MATT SHAO!
***
When Shao entered HQ, he was met by an attractive brunette. He gave her
his patent pending “Shao smile.”
“Ah, Miss Buxom Lovely. How are you?”
She slapped him.
Hard.
“The name’s Brianna, asshole. What the hell is your problem?”
“What makes you think I have a problem?”
“I think you’re the creepy guy who keeps sending me dick pics in emails
labelled ‘For Your Eyes Only.’”
He shook his head.