rws 305 memoir.docx - Wood 1 Tori Wood RWS 305 Professor...

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Wood 1 Tori Wood RWS 305 Professor Anaya March 21, 2019 Family Trip Hello Victoria, As I read through your draft, I will have to admit that you chose a nice topic which is appropriate to your story. You did a good job in sticking to your topic, family trip, in this way you will not be able to confuse your audience. I also enjoyed reading your memoir because it was cohesive and coherent. Your introduction was superb because it was descriptive as well as it did not just say your story. There are various descriptive features you used in your draft, thus making it interesting. I did not find any clichés in your writing, hence making your writing outstanding. I would recommend that you include various conversations to make your memoir more narrative. In your draft you never include any conversation, consider including as many as you can. In general, Waking up to the sun shining in my eyes and the smell of breakfast flooding the air, I knew it was going to be a good day. As I peak over the railing, looking downwards from the loft I had slept in, I can see my dad making scrambled eggs and bacon. The sound of cooked bacon sizzling on the stove and the aroma of fresh brewed coffee easily grabbed my attention. I quickly climb down the ladder and into the kitchen to grab a plate of food. We ate on the wooden balcony that extended out from our cabin that was nestled between rows and rows of pine trees. The balcony overlooked the beautiful lake that was still calm before any boats had made their way
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Wood 2 onto it. Blue birds chirped in the nearby trees as the warm sun shone through the branches. This was the ideal setting for breakfast. The eggs and bacon were great per usual, but the best part of breakfast every day was the coffee cake my mom and I would make ahead of time. With each bite I took of the warm, sweet, cinnamon coffee cake, crumbs would topple off and make a wonderful mess. It was the perfect start to a day at Bass Lake. After breakfast, my family and I quickly changed into our bathing suits, grabbed our inner tubes and head down to the lake. Our day consisted of swimming in the lake, tubing off our boat and taking the waverunners for a ride. This is just the beginning to my family's annual vacation to Bass Lake when I was twelve years old. A huge smile spreads across my face as we head out of the cabin and make our way down the hill and to the pool. The pool stretches across the shore of the lake. Along the side of the pool lay a row of lounge chairs and umbrellas, this is where my mom loves to hangout. We claim our lounge chairs by spreading our towels over each chair and set up camp for the day. The next step
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  • Summer '16
  • Moses Thairu
  • Snow, Snow cone, Bass Lake

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