杨琳老师(澳洲游洋雅思)最新强化讲义-7分8分专用.pdf

杨琳老师(澳洲游洋雅思)最新强化讲义-7分8分专用.pdf

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无忧雅思网 助我越重洋 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 澳洲游洋雅思 by yanglin 校官网: tel:0452079929 1 6.5 7 分的修改欣赏 Topic: some people prefer to rebuild or redesign the old houses. They want to modernise them. Tell the advantages and disadvantages by your opinion. With the rapid development of civilisation, people are unreconciled to remain in their invariable lifestyle. Therefore, they tend to apply some modification to their living facilities, for example, houses, in order to catch the step with the movement of the world. Hence, rebuilding or redesigning old houses becomes one of the approaches to achieve their goals. However, this action has aroused a controversial debate that the opinions about its advantages and disadvantages vary from person to person. For the good part, firstly, it is agreed that rebuilding or redesigning old houses is nothing more than a best way to reduce expenses. The cost would be way less than purchasing a brand-new house. Secondly, modification applied on those old houses could be independently hinged on the owners’ imagination and creativity, which would be good to explore one’s potential gift in relation to design. Thirdly, the government would not be struggled against land-exploring, in other words, huge amount of lands could remain to provide us of the beauty of nature. Unfortunately, a lot of problems have occurred during or after the process of house-rebuilding. One is that too many houses are too over-aged to be re-constructed. They are so fragile that might run the risk of being fractured under the construction. For another one, the noise from modification could result in a serious consequence of disturbance around the neighbourhood. Inhabitants do not expect any noise-pollution in built-in residential areas. For the last but not least, changes made to old houses might break up the integrity of a particular area, where the buildings are considered to be a significant symbol of history. For example, modernising one of the old houses which are of 20 century’s royal style would, in effect, make them look non-traditional. In conclusion, I believe there are many more reasons why people prefer to rebuild or redesign their houses, but I overall agree that if the drawbacks could be thoroughly considered or even resolved before the action was taken, it would be a great idea to encourage people to do so. 点评: 1 字数过多,今后控制在 260 左右就好,去掉过多的套句,把内容落实到实处。整体而言 语言还算过硬,偶尔出现不该分句的分句,不是抢分词法或者句法缺单列一句的时候。词汇 使用不错,考场发扬。 2 理由内容精彩纷呈,问题就在于能否将几个分开独立的理由合理而又逻辑性的结合在一 起,否则就被打入了套路,没新意的 6 分文章中。这是 7 分与 6 分的绝对差别。 3 结构上依然遵循传统的双边中立,为了求新求异,给你写的范文中将首段,两个理由段, 作文改造对象,内容的逻辑词汇 however, by contrast, but 是结构抢分点,看懂积极模仿。
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