Tingting Liu Peer Review.pdf - Tingting Liu Paper One...

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Tingting Liu Paper One Critique by Fadi Bitar Header Page is fine. I doubt that the Abstract paragraph is necessary. I doubt that you have to label every paragraph. First sentence of the introduction is a little weak and doesn’t say much. Other than the first sentence, the introduction has a good hook. Introduction: “It is clear that when human being formed” should be “human beings” not “human being”. Second paragraph: “The United Sates takes the lead in systematically study privacy rights”. I think you meant “States” and “studied”. “ In internal legislation, Sweden took the lead in enact ” should be “to enact”. First sentence of Paragraph 4 is a run-on sentence. Second sentence remove “Be” and change compare to comparing. Paragraph five shows good comparison between the US and the EU.
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  • Fall '19
  • first sentence of the introduction

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