Chapter 4 Radical Rewrites 4-1-1 (1).docx - 4.1 Radical Rewrite Information E-Mail\u2014Negative Announcement The following wordy inefficient and

Chapter 4 Radical Rewrites 4-1-1 (1).docx - 4.1 Radical...

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4.1 Radical Rewrite: Information E-Mail—Negative Announcement The following wordy, inefficient, and disorganized message invites department managers to three interviewing sessions to select student interns. However, to be effective, this message desperately needs a radical rewrite. Your Task. Study the message. Then revise to avoid excessive wordiness and repetition. Also think about how to develop an upbeat tone and improve readability. Condense this sloppy 14-sentence message into 6 efficient sentences plus a list—and still convey all the necessary information. To: Management Staff From: Nathan Weintraub <[email protected]> Subject: Interns Staff: As you may be aware, we have for the past year been considering changing our approach to interns. Your management council recently made a decision to offer compensation to the interns in our internship program. We learned that in two fields (computer science and information systems) interns are usually paid, which is the norm. However, we will be unable to offer more than three internships.

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