Relationship Communication (10/14)Observational Research●Begun as a way to predict divorce and develop targets for marital therapy. ●Tested which behaviors predicted divorce●Gottman’s seminal studies in the 1980s identified “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”○Communication behaviors used by couples who were highly likely to go on to divorceThe 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse●Criticism○Not a complaint or critique - instead of an ad hominem attack on your partner○Complaint: “I was scared when you were running late and didn’t call me. I thought we had agreed that we would do that for each other.”○Criticism: “You never think about how your behavior is affecting other people. I don’t believe you are that forgetful, you’re just selfish! You never think of others! You never think of me.”●Contempt○Mean and disrespectful○An attitude of utter disgust or hatred○Sarcasm, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery○Our body language can be considered “leaky” ●Defensiveness○Blaming the partner○It’s not me - it is definitely you!