Communication.docx - Relationship Communication(10\/14 Observational Research \u25cf Begun as a way to predict divorce and develop targets for marital

Communication.docx - Relationship Communication(10/14...

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Relationship Communication (10/14)Observational ResearchBegun as a way to predict divorce and develop targets for marital therapy. Tested which behaviors predicted divorceGottman’s seminal studies in the 1980s identified “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”Communication behaviors used by couples who were highly likely to go on to divorceThe 4 Horsemen of the ApocalypseCriticismNot a complaint or critique - instead of an ad hominem attack on your partnerComplaint: “I was scared when you were running late and didn’t call me. I thought we had agreed that we would do that for each other.”Criticism: “You never think about how your behavior is affecting other people. I don’t believe you are that forgetful, you’re just selfish! You never think of others! You never think of me.”ContemptMean and disrespectfulAn attitude of utter disgust or hatredSarcasm, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockeryOur body language can be considered “leaky” DefensivenessBlaming the partnerIt’s not me - it is definitely you!
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