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Unformatted text preview: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration Chapter 11
Dr. Alexander Relationship Development How do we develop relationships? Why are we attracted to some people and not to others? How do we evaluate our relationships? How do we come together? Attraction Theory We are patterned in our judgments of attraction Based on three factors Attraction Theory 3 Factors: Physical Appearance and Personality Proximity Similarity Birds of a Feather ... Once we've come together, why do we STAY together?
Two Possible Theories: Social Exchange Theory Relational Maintenance Social Exchange Theory Economically based theory We constantly evaluate resources in our relationships We consider rewards and costs Rewards and Costs Rewards Gratifying experiences Physical benefits Psychological benefits Costs Punishing experiences Undesirable experiences Rewards Support Status Love Costs
Time Lack of Trust M oney Abuse Doing Undesirable Favors Your Relationships CostBenefit Analysis Think of Costs and Rewards in... A Past Unsatisfying Relationship A Current Satisfying Relationship D o we have a r el a ti onshi p ba nk ? Outcome Value Rewar ds Costs
___________ Your profit level Outcome L evel We evaluate our relationships In terms of.... what we're getting what we're giving Minimax Principle We tend to seek relationships, jobs, and such that are rewarding People seek to maximize benefits and minimize costs Equity Theory We like relationships in which our rewards and costs are equal to partner's Want equal benefit and equal cost More satisfied if ratio similar for BOTH Norm of Reciprocity A pull We have a strong desire to return what we receive Disclosures Gifts Favors Help Returns can be delayed What "free" gifts have you received? Are there strings attached? How do we evaluate our outcomes?
Two Ways: Comparison Level Comparison Level of Alternatives Comparison Level (CL) Your expectations What you feel you deserve Love, respect, trust, commitment Satisfaction What do you need to be happy? Based on past experience Why do we stay if it's not equal? Comparison Level of Alternatives (CLALT) Consider best payoffs outside relationship Or, worst outcome will still accept in relationship Based on perceived available alternatives Do longterm relationships allow more costs? Yes, we consider investments! Longterm Relationships
As relationships become more intimate.... Value of rewards and costs may increase Exchange a greater variety of resources Longterm Relationships
Continued.... We tolerate periods where costs exceed rewards It's harder to recall specific rewards and costs H a ppy 12th Bi r thday, M a r di ! ...
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- Spring '09